I'm hating myself 'cause you don't want to, admit that it hurts you...
1 week later
"Okay Toni I have prescribed you some dopamine agonists, this is a fertility drug that will reduce your levels of hormone called prolactin." Toni's doctor Vanessa said handing Toni a prescription sheet.
"I'm going to need you to take 3 daily. One after breakfast, one after lunch and than one after dinner. It is very important for you to have three good meals a day." Vanessa stated as Toni nodded.
"And than I also prescribed you clomiphene, a drug that is going to trigger your ovulation." Vanessa added as Toni scanned the sheet.
"Another thing... calm down you two, relax, let it happen." Vanessa said as Kenny and Toni looked up at her in confusion, "stop trying to plan pregnancy so much. Stop 'trying' so hard, when you stop it's usually when it really happens." Vanessa smiled lightly at them before she got up.
"Is it me?" Toni asked softly causing Vanessa to freeze in her tracks and face Toni with her eyebrows raised.
Kenny faced Toni worriedly.
"I'm the one at fault right? That's why you're just handing me all these fertility drugs... it's me." Toni said before tears began to fall from her eyes.
Kenny took his hand into hers.
"No Ken-"
"Due to your past decision, it's become harder for you two to conceive." Vanessa said causing Toni's eyes to widen in horror as she looked up at Vanessa.
"Past decision?" Kenny arched his brow, "what past decision? Who did you direct that to?" Kenny asked in confusion.
Vanessa looked between the two, "I'm gonna step out. I see that you two need to talk." Vanessa quickly walked out.
Kenny faced Toni awaiting her to speak.
"Ken..." Toni began with her head dropped as she began to fiddle with her hands, "I'm listening." He said.
"I don't know how to tell you this..." She trailed off fearing the worst.
"You're scaring me."
"I just- I had no control over what happened!" She loudly said before she let out an exhausted sigh.
"What are you talking about?" He asked.
"When I got pregnant in college-"
"I know about that... why are you bringing up something so old, I know the miscarriage was hard on you." He took her hands into his.
"That's the thing... I didn't have a miscarriage..." She looked down in embarrassment.
"But you told me-" Kenny cut himself off immediately letting go of her hand as he stood up in frustration. "Why would you have done that?!" He yelled causing her to gasp at his tone.
"I didn't have a choice!" She yelled back getting up matching his angry tone.
"You can't get an abortion without having a goddamn choice- unless the baby wasn't mine-"
"Oh don't go there with me. You were my first and you've always been my only." Toni spat, "than why did you do it? It's not like I wasn't gonna take care of our child-"
"My parents made me do it!" She yelled, "it was my parents..." She softly said with her voice cracking in the process as she plopped herself down in the chair.
Kenny looked around in frustration getting his emotions under control he looked down at her watching her burry her face into the palms of her hands. He ran his hand down his face before he squatted down in front of her resting his hands down on her thighs.
"I'm sorry." He said.
She looked at him.
"Now I understand the hate you've always had against them. Why didn't you tell me sooner Toni?"
"I couldn't handle another thing being my fault." She cried.
"What do you mean?"
"I'm the one that can't do the one thing a woman's suppose to be able to do and that's get pregnant. I want to give you a baby so badly, and I know it's because of that stupid mistake- God isn't giving us a baby because he's afraid that I might do it again-"
Kenny shook his head. "No that's not why, God forgives baby... and he's going to give us a baby, but when the time is right." Kenny assured pulling her into his embrace.
"You know Ken, it's okay to be hurting as well..." Toni said looking into his eyes that held back so many tears. "I know."
