Trouble [S.B]

35

Sirius had lost all sense of direction.

He didn't have a clue as to what he would do next. He didn't have any friends to lean onto, no family, no money and no home. After he left Hogwarts he would be homeless. He was completely and utterly lost. 

Sirius didn't like being lost.

He remembered the little moments when he didn't feel like that. When he didn't feel so lost. He remembered when he was younger and would play small pranks on his parents alongside a giggling Regulus. He remembered the embrace James pulled him into when he received his mother's Howler days after being sorted into Gryffindor. He remembered Remus sharing a piece of chocolate with him when he was sick. He remembered Peter laughing at a silly joke he'd said. He remembered Lily helping him with an assignment and praising him when he would come up with the correct answer himself. He remembered playing against Nicolas' team and them making faces at each other so the other would lose focus. He remembered the laughs he shared with Ruby when they were on their play dates. He remembered Mary being kind to him whenever a Slytherin said something mean to him. He remembered Kasumi thanking him for taking care of Mary every time she saw him. He remembered arguing with Malia about which magical creature was better. 

He remembered Noelle.

Pain wound itself in his chest whenever he thought about her. He tried not to, he really did. But it was impossible not to. Everything reminded him of her, much like what happened to Noelle herself. The difference was that he resented her. Sirius couldn't help but blame her for what he was currently going through. He had no one left because of her and he'd lost himself in the process and his resentment only let him see fault in her. 

At the beginning he saw he was in the wrong as well, but now there was only one villain in this story. And her name was Noelle Moon.

Staring at the ceiling, Sirius tried to plan his next course of action. He could always go to uncle Alphard's and stay with him, but he didn't want to impose. His uncle had been sick recently and he didn't want to intrude when he's ill. So going to his uncle's was off the question. His other relatives would probably yell bloody murder as soon as they saw him and he didn't want to end up dead, so this was also a no-no. And he was yet to speak to James, so he couldn't turn to him. 

As if by miracle, the door to the Room of Requirement opened up and James Potter walked in. Sirius had to blink a couple of times to make sure it wasn't his imagination, but when James sat himself in a love chair that was definitely not there a minute ago, he knew it was real.

"We need to talk."

Those were the first words James had spoken to him in months. Sirius could only turn his head to him once and then turned his face towards the ceiling, resuming the game he was playing of throwing a little ball towards the ceiling and catching it again. 

"Hn."

"Look Sirius, you need to understand that I care about you a lot, just as I care about Noelle. But what you did was awful. And I know she did some stuff too, but she's like my sister-"

"Weren't you the one saying we were like brothers?" his voice came out as flat as he had intended and he could see that by the sound of his voice James was flinching.

"Noelle pointed the same thing."

Sirius caught the ball with his hand, but stalled in throwing it again.

"You just need to understand where I'm coming from Sirius-"

"You know" Sirius sat up and ran a hand through his hair, glaring at James "I would, but lately I don't feel like understanding since that has gotten me nowhere in the past." he wanted James back, of course he did, but his chest felt so heavy with what had been happening that he could care less about what did happen "I don't have shit left. Meanwhile that bitch is walking around like nothing ever happened. She didn't lose shit, but I did."