Trouble [S.B]

37

I'm getting better.

That's what Noelle would always tell herself. She had been in such a dark place after Sirius, there was so little left of her, but now she was better.

Of course that would crumble whenever she saw him looking at her, whilst trying to be sneaky.

Noelle knew he was looking for her whenever she walked the hallways and floors of the Ministry. She just chose to pretend she didn't because otherwise it would hurt too much to acknowledge him acknowledging her.

But she was getting better.

She was healing, slowly, but surely. She was content with her life. Maybe she had lost herself, maybe she lost the love of her life, but she was learning new things. She was still young and god forbid her from not living her life to the fullest.

So that's what she did.

Noelle was mainly tired of the constant flings from Hogwarts and so she settled for some one nights stands. She even slept with the drummer of some muggle band that was ascending, his name was something like Rodger? Even though she had a great time, she still missed the comfort of someone who was constant. But that constant had a full name, she just chose not to name him.

So after some fun nights she decided to call it quits. She didn't need to get attached to anyone right now. She had to get better for herself. Noelle's last year at Hogwarts was her worst and that wasn't how it should've went. No. She was supposed to be with her friends, spending most of her days with them, having fun but still being responsible and caring for their future. This was the last thing she did though, and saying she didn't regret it would be lying. Because Merlin knew she regretted half of the things that happened, but she didn't have a time-turner and one shouldn't dwell on the past.

The doe eyed girl decided to carry on. She attended the classes the Ministry offered and she excelled. She made friends out of her peers. Most of them had went to Hogwarts, others were from other magical schools around the world and they had gotten offers or sent applications to study under the Ministry's program. Noelle learned a lot under her mentors and had already gotten an internship for next summer. 

She had also been told about the Order of the Phoenix.

Dumbledore had invited her over to the castle after she graduated to talk about her future. She had thought of his behavior as odd, but decided to wait it out and draw some conclusions later. Noelle was glad she had decided on judging him after once she learnt about The Order of the Phoenix.

She was immediately taken with the idea of working undercover and trying to gather information about her peers at the Ministry, because even if she'd been blessed with the opportunity of getting into the teaching program, and so far it had been wonderful, she knew there were more than a few pigs around the ministry. Many people working under the Ministry of Magic turned a blind eye to the disappearances going around and would carry on as if it didn't concern them. 

Noelle would guess it was for one of three reasons. They either had the same views as the alleged Dark Lord, they worked for the monster himself or preferred to stay ignorant for as long as possible in order to shelter themselves. 

Still Noelle had her doubts.

Not about the organization itself or anything else.

She doubted Dumbledore.

He'd only approached her because Lily and James recommended her, because otherwise Noelle would've kept on with her days fearing for muggles, muggleborns and herself, wishing she knew of a way to fight the evil bastard with the superiority complex. She hadn't wanted to doubt the man, but ever since that dream Sirius told her about, and later on Dumbledore's reaction, she couldn't help but be weary of his intentions. He was obviously a powerful wizard, but could there be a bad bone in the man?