Jenalyn: Crossing Lines (#4) [Complete]

Chapter 4: Hayden

Friday, 6:28 P.M. PST

I have no idea how we got to this, or why I continue to let it happen. I can feel myself getting worked up though; So I better figure out what I want to do. 

I know that I should stop this for Ty’s sake. It’s going to give him mixed messages and make everything harder in the end. 

But I’ve missed him…

The urgency I feel in how he grabs my body, the way he kisses me like it’s the one thing he dreamt of doing, the deep-rooted ecstasy I feel while I press my body against his… I’ve missed all of this. 

But this is what I was trying to avoid with him… Sex.

Every time we’ve had sex since I’ve been home, it’s never been like this. It’s just been primal; I used him, and I made him feel like he was using me…

Ty lifts me over the center console until I’m seated on his lap, straddling him.

I can’t believe the size of my belly pressed up against him as he sits in the driver’s seat of his truck. It’s not the thought I should focus on right now, but it prolongs the time before I need to put a stop to this, so I allow it. 

“We’re not doing this, Tyler,” I mumble between the kisses he plans on my lips. They feel so desperate… so passionate. 

He sighs but continues to kiss me, trying to pull me further and further into his trap. His hands grasp my hips, pulling me closer to his body. Once I’m as close as I can get, they reach under the back of my shirt.  

I want to fall into his trap, but I can’t.

I picture him with Sophie while I was out there trying to get better. If it weren’t for him, maybe I would have! Flashbacks to the hospital are quick to flood my mind: everything I felt, everything I did, everything that went wrong…

“Tyler, I don’t want to do this,” I say with a sigh as soon as I can find the words. 

He’s already hard beneath me, and panting as his hands continue to roam my body. If he doesn’t hear me, it’s probably just because he’s too far gone into the ecstasy that he’s tuned everything else out.

“Ty!” I say louder, using my hand to stop his from lifting my shirt. “I don’t want to do this!”

He stops groping my body to look at me through the darkness of his truck, his face both disappointed and frustrated. “Hayden, please!” he pleads, trying to catch his breath. “We’re already halfway there! Let me make things up to you! You’re all I want! Sophie was an accid-”

I’ve heard it all already, and cut him off before I’ve got to again. 

Sophie was a mistake. He was hurt. He didn’t know how to handle it besides picking up a bottle and fucking the closest thing with a vagina. Blah blah blah!

Well newsflash! Being with me would only cause him more hurt, and I’m not willing to sit through his coping process again.

“If I was all you wanted, you wouldn’t have slept with Sophie,” I say after a few moments, opening his driver’s side door and practically tumbling out of his truck. 

He looks like he’s got a lot to say, but says nothing. He just stares at me in disbelief as I brush myself off and head back to the party.