Jenalyn: Crossing Lines (#4) [Complete]

Chapter 32: Hayden

Sunday, 9:10 P.M. EST

I thought that texting everybody a resignation/goodbye letter would be a lot easier than I find it to be as I sit here with the phone in my hand. I guess I let myself connect with Hayden and her life more than I wanted to account for when I thought this plan up. 

There’s no time to waste though. I don’t know how long I have alone in here, so I have to take the opportunity while I can. 

I pull the sheet of phone numbers I'd taken down from Hayden’s phone out of my bra, scanning the short list for which number to enter first. 

After a short deliberation, I decide to start with Ty. I punch in his number, my heart tightening in my chest as the realization of what I’m about to do settles in. Even pulling the bullshit that happened between him and Sophie to mind isn’t enough to ease the pain.

I love Tyler. And I guess despite everything that happened between us, I don’t have it in my heart to do this to him. Even if I had to leave him for what he did to me, I planned on keeping him in my life, at least! 

But now? I have to take even that away from him. My heart aches. 

Me: It’s me… I won’t
have this phone for
much longer, so don’t
try to contact me. I’ll
reach out to you after
the baby is born…
when I’m ready. I can’t
do this whole Hayden
thing. I need a break to
think about what I want
for my life before she
comes. I’m sorry, but I
hope you can trust me
and respect that. Thank
you, Ty… for everything.
I promise if you let me,
I’ll keep in touch. I love 
you.

I press send, contemplating a more personal message when guilt swirls my stomach, making me nauseous. Anything else would be too personal though, and that’d defeat the point of severing ties…

Ugh. 

I copy my message to Ty, pasting a similar but altered version to the Golds, and Gage. I wonder if Ty sold me out already? Does everybody already know? I hope they don’t come looking for me, but know that even if they did? They wouldn’t find me. 

Pressing send, I try to ignore the pit forming in my stomach. I’m supposed to destroy the phone now, that was my plan but I can’t carry it out. Ty’s messages find their way to my screen instead…

I want to give him more. 

I want to give him more despite every single part of me telling me it’s time to face the facts and let go. I can’t though. 

Ty was my dream come true…

Hayden was my dream: Singing, acting, performing, becoming famous, being a Gold, dating Tyler Robson? They were all my dreams. Just unobtainable pieces of my imagination I’d use to escape reality. 

Well, I obtained all of my dreams but the one I had to be with him. That dream was so far-fetched because of his history with Harlee, my new big sister, and the age difference between us.

When things fell into place with him… it literally was a dream come true. It was my dream come true. 

I don’t want to let this go…