Jenalyn: Crossing Lines (#4) [Complete]

Chapter 23: Hayden

Sunday, 12:43 A.M. EST

I came back to the front of my mind somewhere in the middle of Dane fucking me with force. I don’t know why my stupid head couldn’t have kept me away until he finished, but there I was- living out what I had no idea would become one of my worst nightmares.

I kept wishing Ty would wake up and save me, but kept having to rescind the wish because we all know that’s not how it would've gone down. There was no saving me then, just like there is no saving me now. 

Tomorrow, Dane is going to take my baby girl away from me. 

How am I going to explain this to the Golds? If they even take me back after the shit I’m going to have to do to appease Dane. 

How will I explain it the world?

Anxiety presses through my chest despite Dane having left already. 

Ty still sleeps so heavy on his bed, completely unaware of the craziness that went down less than 10 feet beside him. Unaware of what I have to do tomorrow to save him…

I can’t bring myself to leave the piping hot shower I had to draw for myself once Dane left. My mind keeps racing around a million thoughts, I couldn’t sleep if I tried. 

I keep reliving the painful, vengeful sex I had to endure. I question what’s going to happen tomorrow. I wonder if there’s any way I could get out of this… I even mourn the loss of the baby girl the voices in my head keep telling me I can’t save. 

I’m so fucked. Jena is so fucked, Hayden is so fucked; We’re all fucked!

I guess the only thing I can do is fake a meltdown with the Golds… tell them I need time for myself before this baby is born…

It wouldn’t be the first time this has happened. Maybe their reaction won’t be as terrible because it’s predictable?

I don’t know, but it’s my only option. Anything else, and they’d come looking for me. I can’t have that… I need to figure out a way to make Dane let me keep my baby. I can't risk going back to them until I know he won't hurt anybody.

My only hope comes from the fact that Dane has spared me in some pretty fucked up situations before. I know that somewhere inside of him, he loves me. He doesn’t want to hurt me!

If I play my cards right… maybe I can make this work…

I’ll tell him that I love him, and that I want to stay with him forever… I’ll promise to do things right, as long as he lets her live! I may have to sacrifice Hayden, but… if it means I get to save the life of my baby? Even if I have to give her away?

I have to do it…

The hot water scolds the top of my head, pulling me from my thoughts long enough to remember that, despite everything going on, I’ve got to be up for this shoot tomorrow. 

I turn the water off with a sigh.

And with my heart heavier than the weight that rests on my shoulders.