Jenalyn: Crossing Lines (#4) [Complete]

Chapter 65: Hayden

Tuesday, 3:15  P.M. EST

I’ve been seeing Rob less and less since leaving the cabin up the mountains. Despite loosening up on keeping me locked up, I still mostly stay in Dane’s bugged apartment. The only alone time Rob and I ever really get anymore is if he’s babysitting and comes up with a reasonable excuse to drag me with him when something goes awry and Dane is too far away to make it back in time. 

I did give him the number to my flip phone though... and only now am I starting think it was a mistake.

He won’t get off my case about the drugs. Ever since Dane upped my doses, and started mixing things up with them, he’s constantly blowing me up about more escape plans, and how the baby could still be in danger even if I physically feel that she’s alive. 

He doesn’t understand that I feel her, feel her; She doesn’t physically talk to me, but my little girl has still got so much to say, and I hear her.  

Shit isn’t easy, but she’s stronger than anyone could possibly give her credit for. I know it. 

“Can we please just stop talking about this?” I ask, once again trying to swerve my conversation with Rob away from the obvious. If it wasn’t for my monster, I was honestly going to tell Rob to call off his pla to arrange a break in at one of the stash houses today just to avoid having to come here with him. At least through text, I can avoid the conversation by ignoring it. He’s not having that face to face though. I try anyway.  “Evelyn’s only going to be gone for a little while! Haven’t you even missed me?”

I could tell Rob was mad at me from the moment Dane called him over to babysit me and Ev. He walked in on Dane shoving a needle in my arm. 

“I did miss you, Jen- you already know that!” he snaps. “We’re not here to fuck around though! We’re trying to save our baby, Jen! Cmon!”

I roll my eyes like a teenager taking a scolding from one of her parents. 

I get him! I really do! But Rob doesn’t understand that if bringing McKaiden into this world doesn’t happen this way, persevering through whatever drug Dane thinks he can throw at me? He’ll just come after her later. 

I’m trying to choose between the better of two evils here! He has to understand!

“I’m doing the best I can, Rob!” I sigh, continuing to help him restock the stash house. I go to say more, but he is quick to interrupt me. 

“You’re doing heroin!” he exclaims, sure to add on to the list the moment he catches his breath. “-and cocaine! And barbiturates! And drinking fucking alcohol, Jen! Shit- you’re fucking tipsy right now!”

I roll my eyes again, mostly because I know he’s right. When you lay it out like that, it doesn’t really sound good… 

I’m trying to do the right thing! Am I really doing the wrong thing? 

McKaiden kicks me in the bladder and, though uncomfortable, it reminds me of her strength. I immediately signal for Rob to make his way over to me, which he quickly but reluctantly does. 

“What?!” he snaps, only to visibly rescind doing it once I grab his hand and lead it to my belly. 

McKaiden gets shy, instantly falling still the moment I place Rob’s cold hand over my shirt. 

“She just doesn’t know you,” I say after a moment when Rob turns to me with a confused look on his face. I direct my attention to my belly, using both hands to stroke it in the same way I do whenever I want to talk to McKaiden. “Don’t be shy, little girl... it’s just your daddy! He… loves you a lot. Just say hello! Show him how strong you are!”

A few moments of nothing pass, and I can see the apprehension form on Rob’s face. 

“Jen, I think you’re having phantom kicks... there’s no way anything but a full-grown human could survive the intoxication Dane is forcing!” Rob says after a few more moments of waiting. “Have you been bleeding at all?... if she died, we really need to get you to a hospital. That’s dangerous, Jen! I need you to tell me the truth...”

McKaiden is usually so active! Shit, all I did was ask her to say hello! I can only imagine what hell I’m in for if she’s already making it such a point to defy me! I’m not imagining this!

“She’s alive, Rob!” I immediately insist, rubbing my belly harder despite the instant pressure it puts on my bladder. “I feel her every single day, numerous times! I’m not fucking crazy, she’s okay!”

Rob still looks apprehensive. He keeps his hand on my belly only a moment longer before he let’s out a long and defeated sigh while removing it. 

“I didn’t say you were crazy, Jen- but I think we lost her a while ago. Your ‘kicking’ is probably just your mind’s best way of coping with it...” he says, his voice weak and disappointed. “Babies aren’t made to ingest the toxins you have... she had a direct tube from your system, to hers! I... should have gotten you guys out of here...”

What the fuck? 

Why won’t he listen to me?! Look, I know I’m fucking bat shit crazy, okay? But I can’t just imagine the fucking kicks and jabs McKaiden is constantly throwing on my insides!  

“You’re fucking stupid, Rob!” I snap, my mind and hormones running wild enough to cause tears to form in my eyes. “I’m literally telling you she’s alive! I’m not a fucking idiot!”

Rob is taken off guard. Shit, I’m taken off guard too! I don’t even know why I’m so upset, but I can’t stop the tears from streaming down my face anyway.  

“Woah Jen! Chill!” Rob says as he holds out his arms cautiously. “I’m not saying you’re crazy, but this would be a normal response! I’m upset too! But I’m more concerned about getting you checked out! You’ll get sick if-“

“WILL YOU FUCKING LISTEN TO ME!” I scream, interrupting him before he can go any further. Tears stream down my face. How could he accuse me of killing her? I know what I’m doing! She’s a fucking part of me, and I feel her! “This is the last time I’m going to tell you-“

I’m interrupted by a string of eventa all happening so fast, I might have missed them had I been blinking. 

The front door to the stash house swings open. Rob, with a look of panic, turns around. And just as that happens, both Dane and Evelyn walk in.