Mischief Managed Year One: Mayhem of the Moon

Chapter Ten- Off on the Wrong Foot

TWs: Bullying

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Remus spent the rest of his afternoon in the library, alternating between studying and resting his head on the table while constantly having to force back his tears. He would just have to get used to the effect of the aconite. Hopefully he could develop a tolerance for it. He would also just have to get used to the humiliating lessons where he was labeled as a monster. Lessons on how to kill him. He would just have to get used to all of it if he wanted to stay, and despite everything, he wanted to.

"Remus, what in Salazar Slytherin are you doing?" Came Sirius' sharp voice. That demanding tone which Remus was all too familiar with, signifying the young Black somehow thought he deserved an answer.

Remus jumped and hoped he looked calmer than he felt. He sat up and glanced at Sirius, looking away from his roommate quickly.

"Studying...W...what about you?" he stammered, trying to remind himself that Sirius wasn't going to attack him. At least he hoped not.

"I was looking for you. I didn't see you at breakfast or at dinner...Why aren't you eating?" Sirius asked, almost sounding angry about it.

"Just...not hungry," Remus replied, a bit confused as to why the question was even posed to him.

Remus knew his excuse was a weak one, but he figured Sirius would take it and leave. After all, the boy had no reason to care about him nor any reason to feel responsible for his well-being. So why Sirius didn't leave but sat next to Remus, he truly didn't know.

"That's a bloody lie and you know it! Potter and Pettigrew might pretend to buy whatever game you're playing, but I don't. I can't figure out your problem. So you're going to tell me what your deal is and that way we can be mates and actually enjoy our time at Hogwarts. Yeah?"

"What problem?" Remus hated how guilty and panicked he sounded. He felt a chill run down his spine as Sirius glared at him.

"Come on, Remus! I want to be your friend. I don't understand you, but you seem nice enough even if you're really weird. Something clearly is wrong so what is it? Friends help each other and I mean... Well, you came looking to help me, so let me do the same. Okay?"

Stormy eyes gazed challengingly at him. Remus wanted to snap at Sirius to go away, to leave him alone because his day had been wonderful, then terrible and everything was confusing and painful. He just wanted time to get used to being here, let alone get used to the potential of not everyone bullying him.

But Remus didn't say any that. If he had perhaps things would have gone differently. Instead, Remus looked at Sirius with earnest confusion and uttered four words that would change the course of his next month to a very unpleasant one.

"But we aren't friends."

Sirius jerked back as if Remus had slapped him, though Remus hadn't meant anything by it. After all,  they weren't friends and they couldn't be. Remus found more fault in pretending they were than in just being as honest as he could with Sirius. It seemed that Sirius didn't get this, nor did it seem his roommate particularly cared about the motivation behind the honest statement.

For one wild moment, Sirius' eyes flashed with rage and humiliation. It was as if he wasn't used to hearing 'no' from someone clearly beneath him. Then Sirius smiled. His lips pulled into a tight grin that was neither sincere nor friendly. Remus felt dread seep into him, realizing once more he had somehow messed things up terribly with Sirius.