zach sat in one of the chairs on the kitchen table and jack in front of him. zach still didn't dare to look at him, his eyes were low, looking at his hands where he played with his fingers feeling nervous.
zach listened as jack cleared his throat a couple of times and settled into his business with discomfort. zach had to appear that he wasn't aware of every move that jack made, zach tried to make jack not know that his charms kept making him so weak.
"listen, z. i know what you saw looks really bad, but it's not what you're thinking. gabbie kissed me..."
"is that what you want to tell me?" the young boy interrupted. "jack, i don't want you to tell me this. i know what i saw."
"i didn't want to, zach." jack almost sobbed. "i didn't want to kiss gabbie. she just wanted val to pay attention to her or make her jealous. i don't fucking care."
that surprised zach, not only because gabbie told him she would fight for him because she loved him. but if jack was telling the truth, zach thought it was a most unpleasant act since they were friends and she had used it. people who love their friends don't use them, don't hurt them.
"you didn't take her off, i was standing there waiting for you to do it since she kissed you as you said. i saw it all, jack, you kissed her back. that means you enjoyed it, or will you deny it?"
"well yes, i will deny it, i-i didn't enjoy it. i was confused, surprised..."
zach stood up, laid his hands on the table to finally look at his eyes more closely. "so that's it? you were confused, do you know why you were confused? because you still love her, if you didn't want her, you wouldn't have gotten confused, you would have turned back. did you even think a little about me while it happened? i saw your face, jack, do you have any idea how much it hurt? i know that for you we are nothing, that we never were and that i don't have to claim you, god! i even feel ridiculous just now."
zach closed his eyes tightly and let out a trembling sigh, he didn't want to cry, so he clenched his eyelids and fists and forced himself to keep talking.
"maybe it's better that way because you're not sure what you want and i can't be with someone who is going to run away from me every time she comes."
"no, no, no! i wasn't confused by that, i don't doubt what you make me feel, zach. i was confused that she was suddenly telling me those things and then kissing me, it was the moment, not what i felt. i didn't knew how to react at that moment, it was too late, i was completely blank. "
zach opened his lips to take a breath, he didn't like this conversation, he didn't like to remember the same thing over and over again. it was saddening him.
"did you think of me while you kissed her?" zach asked, even though he knew the answer wasn't going to please him.
even if it sounded stupid, zach would feel a little better if the answer was positive because at least he wasn't just thinking about her.
"when the kiss ended i did." jack whispered.
jack ducked his head because he couldn't bear to see zach's sad look. zach's eyes were filled with tears.
he didn't think of me once, until he could think again, zach reminded himself.
when zach managed to calm down and swallow the pain he felt, he looked back at him, he didn't know what jack saw in his eyes, but the curly-haired boy stood up and shook his head.
jack's hands cradled his face firmly. "don't say those things, zach. i didn't feel half of what i feel every time i kiss you. it's not about gabbie anymore. i realized late about that, maybe it wasn't a good way to find out my feelings, but i'm so sure that i like you, i like you a lot. please understand me. please forgive me."
"i do, jack, i swear i understand you. i understand that you have been in love with this girl for a long time, she is your friend, everyone knows that she is perfect and i am... well i'm just the funnny and nice boy. and your parents hate me, they couldn't even help me offer a glass of water." zach whispered with a lump in his throat, stealing his breath.
"you're not listening to me, zach, i'm telling you that i like you." jack said, still holding his face, stroking zach's cheeks with his thumbs.
suddenly, zach felt that he didn't want to feel his hands touching him, nor did he want him to get too close.
"i don't think so, i'm sorry, but i can't believe you anymore, jack, surely she plans to come back with val and you found out, that's why you think you like me." jack shook his forehead wrinkled.
"i don't know anything about gabbie since the... since the kiss, baby. i swear things are not as you think them. for heaven's sake, i like you, i really like you."
his words sounded desperate, zach stepped back, zach knew he had enough of this, he didn't want to keep listening anymore, he wanted to do anything but see his eyes. but see him at all.
"you may like me, but you love her." zach answered. "it's okay, jack, try it with gabbie. i would do the same, you know? i'd choose the love of my life, not the one who can become it."
zach turned and started walking towards the exit somewhat desperate, however, jack took his elbow and turned it around. jack leaned down to kiss him, but zach shook his head so he couldn't do it.
jack realized what was happening, that zach was rejecting him, he sighed and closed his eyes heavily.
jack looked sad, hurt and tired, it did hurt him to have hurt zach.
"i will repeat it again and again until you believe me." jack muttered.
zach gave him an angry look before shaking so he could be free from jack's grab. jack finally released him and zach turned around and left.
ΩΩΩ
jack could take away many things like zach's heart.
but not the band. that was something they would always share, whether they were together or not. and zach had told himself that he wasn't going to take his house away. he was prepared to live in the same house of his friends and not to fall for jack again.
the next day zach attended his online morning classes as he used to. he was going to keep living his life. and he took charge all day to dodge jack.
=== word count: 1171
my parents are mood.
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