Once Upon A Time (Sam Winchester Love Story)

Alone

Warning: this chapter will include mental illnesses and panic attacks. If you are uncomfortable with this then please take caution or not read at all.

Most days are the same, just a repeat of the day before. Most days are terrible. Most nights I go to sleep hoping I die peacefully. But then I get disappointed when I don't and I have to repeat it all over again. I just go through the motions. Say hi, smile a little, laugh and go with whatever I'm supposed to be doing. It's actually really sad. But I can't actually tell people because they never listen. They never want to hear what I say, or if the say they want to hear my problems they say it to be nice. I get lied to all the time, and by this point I'm used to it. Everyday is the same. I wake up, get dressed, make my bed, say good morning to those around me and eat something. It's that always that. It never changes. Today was no different. I woke up, got dressed, made my bed, said good morning to the boys and waited until we went to a diner to eat something.

"So I was thinking that we spend the day at a bar. Because I want to thank Anna for carrying and stitching me up." Dean said with a smile.

"The whole day?" I asked.

"Yah, there's nothing wrong with that right?" Dean said.

"No, there's nothing wrong with it." I said. A whole day at a crowded loud bar. My worst nightmare. But I can't say no to dean. It would break me to not except his gift of appreciation. So I went with it. We finished our breakfast and drove straight to the bar. We walked in and it was already crowded with half drunk people. I walked in and sat down at a table in the corner of the room that was farthest away from everyone. That didn't stop my anxiety from sitting right on my lap though. I crossed my arms and tried to calm down, but the crowd migrated closer to me and I felt alone in a Crowded room. I wanted to crawl into a ball and cower in the corner. I wanted to melt away into the floorboards. I wanted to be gone. I wasn't even there for five minutes and I wanted to break down into a crying mess. Everyone I knew was across the bar separated by the crowd of people.

"Hey little lady where's your smile?" I heard from next to me. I changed my fear to bitchiness.

"Up my ass." I said.

"Oh your funny." He said sitting down next to me. I froze in place. Oh no he did not.

"Excuse me? Who said you could sit there?" I asked leaning away from this man.

"I said. Anyways why are you alone? You shouldn't be alone at a place like this." He said with a sickening smirk.

"Go away." I said.

"No. You never answered me." He said.

"I'm only going to say this once. I don't dance, don't want a drink, and most definitely don't want your company so please get the fuck away from me." I said glaring at him. He looked stunned.

"Excuse me?!" He asked flustered.

"You heard me. Leave." I said again. He huffed and got up and walked away. I started to shake and shiver. The room got cold and hot at the same time. My breathing fastened and my sight became a blur. Before I knew it it was 7 at night and the crowd was huge. I curled up into a ball on the chair and wrapped my arms around my legs. I pressed my back against the wall and shook. I started to see black dots in my vision.

Your alone
No one would care if you got murdered right here
They all want to kill you
Your forgotten
Your worthless
No one cares
Everyone hates you
Your ALONE!

Tears started to run down my cheeks as I buried my head in my knees. I rocked back and forth and no one cared. No one noticed my huge panic attack, or the fact that I'm crying. I'm alone and no one cares.

Sam's POV

It's been hours and I haven't been able to see Anna from across the bar. From what I know she has no drink and is just sitting there. Dean is missing in the crowd and I'm getting annoyed from all of the chaos. I was keeping an eye on her for the longest time until the crowd got so big. I got up and made my way through the crowd. When I got to the other side I saw her balled up in her chair shaking uncontrollably pressed up against the wall. I immediately walked up to her and sat down. I lightly touched her knee and she flinched away from me.

"Hey, it's okay. Its me Sam. Are you alright?" I asked calmly. If it's what I think this is then she's going to need my company. She lifted her head slowly, I saw her tear stained cheeks and her quivering bottom lip. "Are you okay?" I asked. Her eyes darted Aron's the room and I saw how fast her breathing was. She's panicking about how crowded the room is. I need to get her out of here now. "Hey, don't worry about the people, focus on me. I'm right here." I said, she looked at me and I could see the fear in her blue/green eyes.

"Sam..." She said.

"I know, I know focus on me. Just breath, in... out." I said trying to calm down her breathing. She was breathing well enough to where I could lead her out of the bar to the car. "You want to go to the car?" I asked. She nodded her head. I put out my hand for her to take. She unballed herself and took my hand. We stood up and I held her by my side as we walked out of the bar. We sat on the hood of the car and I let her try to collect herself. "So you don't like crowds?" I asked.

"No, I hate them." She said. I nodded.

"I understand, so are you okay now? Or do you want to sit here for a minute?" I asked.

"I think I just want to go back to the motel room." She said.

"That's perfectly fine. How about you stay here and I'll go and grab dean." I said. She nodded and I left to steal dean from the girl he was flirting to. We drove back to the motel and settled in for the night.

Anna's POV

Tonight was the first night that I hoped I didn't die. Tonight was the first night I didn't feel alone. Tonight was the first night that I felt like someone was actually there for me... and I hope it's not the last.