Once Upon A Time (Sam Winchester Love Story)

Problems Pt.2

"You promise you won't leave me?" I asked. He nodded.

"I promise." He said sticking out his pinkie finger. I smiled the tiniest bit and linked our fingers together. "Where should I start?" I asked shaking my head a little.

"How about your anxiety." He said. I nodded.

"Well, I hate crowds, I don't like being left alone. Because there is a difference when I choose to be alone and when I get left alone. Um... I get overwhelmed with loud noises. So like if someone starts yelling I get nervous, but if someone yells at me I either cry or beat their ass and then feel guilty." I said going over the basics. "Um my anxiety gets pretty bad. Um sometimes it gets so bad I don't sleep for days, I don't eat sometimes and I get really... bitchy I guess." I said feeling kind of embarrassed.

"Okay, So is there any other mental illnesses I should know about?" He asked. I nodded.

"I have depression, um that one also gets really bad. Sometimes it gets to where I feel like... god damn this is embarrassing!" I said with my cheeks turning pink.

"It's alright I'm not judging." He said with a smile.

"Sometimes it gets so bad that I want to off myself. Um my depression can make me nauseous. So when I get hungry I eat a few bites, gets sick and then stops eating, to then become hungry in less than five minutes. Yah that part kinda sucks. Um I'm pretty lonely. Even though I hang out with people, I tend to feel like they don't actually care about me. I have trust issues, I have very low self worth and confidence. I feel like I'm always bothering the people I hang around and most of the time I feel like actual trash." I said with a small smile. "That just about covers it." I said with a nod.

He looked stunned. I instantly felt regret and shrunk down to my helpless little ball. I knew I should've never told you.

"Wait, don't start beating yourself up. I'm not contemplating to leave you. I just didn't realize that you had that much going on. I'm still right here." He said. I slightly unballed myself looking at him. "It's okay, I'm not judging you. But do you want me to share this to dean? If you don't want me to then I won't, but I thought it would be good for him to know before he triggers something on accident." He said with a smile.

"Yah I guess your right. But please tell him when he's not drunk or drinking." I said looking into his beautiful eyes.

"Okay. And hey." He said grabbing my hand. "You are wanted and loved. Don't forget that." He said with a smile. Another tear fell from my eye as I smiled. I lowered my head and laughed.

"I needed that." I said with a smile evident in my voice.

"You want a hug?" He asked.

"That would be nice." I said. He wrapped his arms around me and I did the same. We stayed like that for a minute taking in what had just happened.

We spent the time dean that dean was at the bar just hanging around. Dean came back around 3 in the afternoon barely drunk. We spent the day relaxing until we thought that dean was clear for us to tell him. And we did. I took his beer and made his sit down. Me and Sam explained my mental state, what triggers my episodes and freak outs. We explained everything and to my surprise he didn't blow it off. He agreed and understood. Now some people call dean a dick, but really he's just a troubled man with a drinking problem that has a really good heart under the tough guy shell. So... this day went better than expected and I guess all I can say is that I'm surprised.