Crybaby - Yoonmin

Part 33: Okay

"Have I ever told you about my past... like before the apartment...?" Yoongi asked warmly searching the others far for an answer he could determine.

Jimin thought back before sighing and saying "I'm going to be really honest, I don't remember hyung. I'm sorry- I think you've mentioned your parents not giving you cuddles before and a girlfriend but I don't know if I'm making that up because I don't want it to be true. Other than that I have noticed some things that I can only assume link..."

Yoongi shook his head lightly and offered a sad smile before replying "Don't apologise you- you remembered... I don't really talk about it... even in little space... but you remembered and I appreciate that... what've you... what've you noticed?"

Jimin fiddled with his fingers nervously as he sat on the chair next to Yoongi's replying "Well... I did some research about little space and one of the triggers is traumatic past or to relief stress and you give off a laid back vibe but your also..."

Yoongi chuckled lightly at how careful the other was being, it warming his heart but he was upfront about it completing "A mess?"

Jimin quickly said "No-" going to say something less harsh even if Yoongi's humour was self deprecating but Yoongi just said "It's okay Jiminie I know I am. Go on."

Jimin sighed saying "Other than that it's some of your behaviours... like you flinched a lot when we first met and still do now and I've seen you cry because of it... and some of the stuff you've said... is that... linked?"

Yoongi began nervously paying with his own hands now, looking down as he mumbled "I guess so... I'm just gonna be blunt and get it said because I've never really done this before properly, especially not in big space, and it might be easier?"

Jimin reached forward and held his hands in response to the actions and words, smiling reassuringly and saying "Take your time hyung I'm here to listen." Getting a soft smile from the other which quickly turned sad thinking back on his earliest memories.

He began;

"When I was young my parents weren't really the best at their job of parenting and basically, according to my Grammy who tried taking me away from it before they moved us without telling her, neglected me. I was pretty behind in everything for a long time because they ignored me slowing my development, I don't know why or how it did but it did, and I used to cry a lot out of frustration because of that apparently. I got called a cry baby all my life which might've been the cause of me sneaking out and working as a underground rapper for a bit. And well instead of comforting me they would... hurt? Me, tell me I needed to grow up and said that was affection, sometimes even acting as if they'd give me a hug just to slap me or push me down."

He bitterly laughed, clenching his jaw momentarily before continuing.

"The pricks. They emotionally manipulated me making me feel like the cause of all my issues and theirs. Um yeah. That lasted and kept getting worse until I moved out in a relationship they all forced on me to a girl who was just as bad as them if not worse. She used me like a accessory and called me a cry baby because I was... damaged and... she told me a bunch of mean stuff on the regular... that's where my cold 'persona' comes from I guess and the fact I used to stand up to everyone expect my parents and her probably emphasised it. Um. Yeah it wasn't healthy."

Jimin didn't want to push Yoongi into more detail which he sensed was there so he rubbed circles on his hands and cautiously moved forwards hoping to give more comfort.

Yoongi smiled softly at the action before he continued "Through all this I knew Taehyung, he's basically my baby brother...he ended up getting really ill one winter and obviously I went to him even though I knew going home would be bad but I needed to be there for him and he asked- more like begged me to move away with him. To get away from where we lived and start fresh because we deserved better and I couldn't say no to him. So I went home when I knew she was out partying and probably cheating, packed my small amount of stuff, waited for her to return and broke up with her before running into the taxi I shouted to wait then left. Then the minute he was out of hospital we were here and I think you know the rest."

Jimin took a shaky breath feeling overwhelmed by the information in its whole and muttered "Thank god for Taehyung." Before pulling the other into a full hug which was surprisingly accepted.

Jimin continued saying "I'm so sorry you had to go through that hyung. If you ever want to talk about it more or remember something and just want to get it off your chest know you can come to me. I'll listen. I'll protect you from them and from all those thoughts they put into your head. I want to be someone you can trust whole heartedly. I might not have been there at the time but I'm here now and I promise you I will do everything in my power to make you happy and to help you learn that it's okay. What is open to interpretation but if you can justify it that's okay. Hating you parents? It's okay. Being scared of people? That's okay. Being you? That's more than okay. You might not be okay but, as that cheesy line goes 'it's okay to not be okay' it's okay. Okay?"

Yoongi chuckled lightly and nuzzled Jimin slightly making the others anger melt away slightly replying "Okay." As Jimin wipes tears Yoongi didn't know were shed.

After that Jimin insisted they went home so they did, with Jimin just staying close to Yoongi and listening to more of the light hearted stories of his youth.

All of which contained a certain box smiled boy and Jimin couldn't be any more thankful.