I'm Breaking

Chapter 59

Chaeyoung PoV 

"Chaeyoung-ah.." 

She stood in front of me in my office. 

I haven't left the hospital ever since last night. I stayed in Jungkook's room, waiting for him to wake up and eventually, I ended up sleeping as well. 

Rachel frequently updates me about Jiyoon. She picked her up in the Jeons Family Mansion, brought her to school and is now taking her out in a toy store. 

My eye bags are starting to show off on my face, my cracked lips are starting to bleed, my skin looks paler and I've lost weight. Jihyo made me take a physicals exam a few moments ago, and according to her, I lost about 5 kg in less than a week. 

Even if I still eat complete meals. 

The messed up life I have right now is driving me insane. I was a normal doctor before I met him, 5 years ago. No matter how many times I say that, both of them happened to me for a good reason, it doesn't feel like it. 

I haven't called Alice, my parents nor do I have my friends to run to. 

The truth is, I'm a lonely person in Seoul. Every single one of my childhood friends are in Australia, also living their lives, some of them are successful and has a happy family. 

While I'm here, back in my home town, trying to rebuild what I've started. 

Last night, while waiting for Jungkook, I was in the Korean Airlines website, booking a ticket, hesitating to complete the purchase. No matter how much I want to go back home, and restart there, I can't find myself to leave Korea. 

It's like I'm going to leave him the responsibility or break his heart more. 

Between both of us, I caused him more damage. He still was the one who promised to be by my side, who always forgives me, who's always there and I'm just the person who keeps ruining his life. 

Wasn't I the reason why he secretly went back to Busan? If it weren't for me keeping everything a secret, our lives would've been normal, right? 

What if I told him before? Would we have worked it out? Maybe, we would have and we would be a happier family. 

Family?

How dare I say that? 

I'm not part of his family, it's only Jiyoon.

I'm out of the picture now. 

"Chae," she said once more. 

My silence led me to overthinking things. The past that I continuously bring back again and again, is starting to kill me. It's starting to haunt me, making me guilty of what I did. 

I'm lucky that the Jeons did not want to settle it through legal actions. If they did, I'd be in prison for doing my scandals. 

How come they still forgive me? Does it really run in their family? The never ending forgiving and forgetting? 

She hugged me, "Chae, I'm really sorry about what happened and I know I slapped you hard..."

Jennie came to me 30 minutes ago but I had a consultation clinic in floor 3. Now that I'm free, she personally went to me in my office. 

I still feel lonely. 

Like everything and everyone has turned their backs on me. Like there's no one I can count on. 

I'm always gonna be there for you!

But where are you? 

Why did you drive half drunk? Did you really need to see me? You could've gave a call, and I'll be the one to go there.