"Please, notice me" (Shadowhunters)

"I miss you" always turns into a curse

Clary's apartment

Jace knocked down the entrance door and Simon followed him inside. He was concerned for his friend. The first time he met him, five years ago, Jace was like an emotionless soldier but he wasn't aggressive without a valid reason. Since his memories were erased, he used every single opportunity to be violent. Simon missed the friend he found after Clary left. With Alec being away Jace and Simon got closer and Simon found in Jace an amazing partner in fight.

" - Simon! Get in here I found someone.

Jace scared him but he shook his head to wake himself up and vampire ran to the living room. Jace was there, holding a young man. His arm was pressed against his throat.

- Jace, he's just a mundane, calm down.

- A mundane who is in Clary's apartment.

Simon jumped a little bit when he heard Jace's voice and he opened his eyes widely when he realized that he called her by her name for the first time in three days.

- I'm... I'm just her flat mate... her best friend, stuttered the young man. Who are you?

Jace sighed in anger, he was just a pure mundane. Simon's cold blood rushed through his veins when he heard the guy calling himself Clary's best friend.

- Mundane, where is Clary?

- Hold on Jace, how can he see you?

- I didn't glamour myself, long teeth.

- Long... glamour? What's going on?! What do you want with Clary??

- We're saving her ass, as per usual.

Simon laughed to Jace's sarcasm. He stepped in.

- You're gonna have to come with us.

- Wait? In the institute? No, there is no way.  We can't keep bringing mundanes in there.

- Jace you heard the vampire, they are looking for Clary. If they come here they will kill him. He is our only hope to find her. And shadowhunters protect humans and kill demons, right?

Jace grumbled but grabbed Ethan's arm and forced him to get out. The fresh air felt good on his skin. It made him shiver a little bit but he didn't know if it was the piercing cold or if it was the fear. He had no idea who these people were but his brain turned off due to the panic. He let the blond guy drag him around thinking about his best friend. Was she in some serious danger?

Clary and Jonathan

When he got out of the hotel bathroom freshly washed wearing new clothes bought from the shop down the road she finally recognized him. His ginger hair reminded her how good he was before their twinning rune disappeared. Her hand automatically touched her chest, where the rune used to be. She could still feel a tiny scar that even the Iratze rune didn't get rid of. She sighed to the memory of everything. This time it will be different, no more shadow world to corrupt them. Once again only by thinking of it Jace popped into her head. Will she ever be able to forget him? Or would she do what he did? No. She would never. She would rather suffer with the memories than live with a hole in her brain and heart. Either way the only warlock who could do it would be Magnus and he was gone, besides she didn't want to forget. If Jace had to do it, it proved that he didn't love her enough, that she wasn't important enough to be in his mind. She had her brother now, so Jace could go to hell.

New York Institute

" - ... and to finish off Simon thought that bringing him here was a good idea. mumbled Jace.

Isabelle smiled at her boyfriend.

- He's right Jace. We can use him to lure Clary here.

- I don't get something; a greater demon, one of the oldest of the greater demon to specify, has Magnus and could possibly become a huge threat to the Shadowhunters and, to another extend, the clave but you only care about her.

- We don't but she saved all of us before, plus it's better to have her here. With a bit of chance Raziel will let her be a Shadowhunter again and we could use her powers and yours too.

Alec gave Ethan the phone that they took off him when he got in.

- Now call her and tell her to meet somewhere. We will wait and get her back here.

Jace sighed loudly to make sure that everyone heard him and uncrossed his arms.

- Whatever."

He needed a bit of calm. After what Simon told him he wasn't feeling good. Almost as if it triggered something and now his chest felt compressed all the time.
He walked around the institute and without realizing his legs brought him in front of Clary's old bedroom. Instinctively he pushed the door and walked in.
The feeling of familiarity gave him anxiety in his chest but he ignored it. It was quiet and the atmosphere was heavy, kind of like in suspension waiting for something to happen. He saw an easel with a beautiful drawing of the institute on it. He smiled a little without noticing. On his left stood the desk, it was recovered by sketchbooks and a frame. He approached it and took the photo in his hand. Clary next to a ginger man, the Eiffel Tower behind them. She wasn't smiling which gave him a slight relief. Jace asked himself why anyone would want a photo of them looking sad in their bedroom.
He put it down and opened one of the sketchbooks in front of him. By coincidence, or maybe not (the angels might have been watching), he opened it on the page of a drawing of himself, sleeping. He wondered if they used to sleep in the same bed.
He turned the page and he found another photo. This time it was him, holding her face on his hand and kissing her on the cheek. Her right arm was up probably holding the phone to take the photo. Her face was lit up, she had a huge smile showing her teeth and her eyes sparkled. On his own face he could see a tiny smile because his lips were crushed on her cheek. Pure happiness radiated from the photo and it made him feel dizzy. He held it and his eyes looked at what was on the page; the drawing of the photo but it looked different. The energy coming out of it was love, pure love.
His heart felt tight and a feeling of guilt and shame invaded his body. He remembered how he talked to her yesterday. His throat was full of... needles?
He walked out still holding the photo.

On his way to the entrance he hears Simon.

" - We need to do something for him. I feel like I lost a friend.

- I know Simon, we will. You know even if Jace isn't the same I'm still here and I still love you. We will get through it the same way we got through everything else. You just have to trust me, ok?

Izzy kisses him and Simon whispered an "I love you too".
Jace's eyes filled up with tears and he ran to the opposite direction. He missed her. He didn't know what he missed but he missed her.

" - Hi Clary, it's Ethan.

- Yeah I saw. What's going on?

- You need to come to our bench in Central Park. I really have to talk to you.

- Ethan, is everything ok?

- Just... be there in an hour.

He hung up and looked at the group of unrealistically good looking people.

- There you go."