The Second Worst Love Story Ever (+18)

5. Danish Sky

"So that's it? You didn't even kiss her?" Noah asked me the next day while we drifted through the empty aisles of an art supply shop. "She totally wanted you to, otherwise she would have just pulled away."

"If Valentina Chiatti wanted to kiss me, she would have done it," I said. "Trust me."

"Not if she thought you didn't want to. Because of your history, you know."

"I told you, last night was just a spark. I guess we're still attracted to each other, but it doesn't mean we have to do anything about it."

"Oh yeah? Then why are we buying all this stuff? You can't paint." He lifted a brush from the kart.

"Because she's always complaining about not having the time to paint."

"And what is it to you?"

"I just want to do something nice, okay? Before she leaves."

"You're not her boyfriend anymore. It's not your business to make her happy; it's somebody else's. Anyone else's."

"We didn't end things in good terms." I stopped in front of the register. "I don't want anything weird between us. I want her to know that we're still friends."

"So you're saying you're over her?" he asked in disbelief.

"I'm completely over her. Don't worry. I'm not gonna get hurt again."

It was a vain promise. Even I didn't believe it, but I would die before I stopped lying about this.

***

When Val's last day in Denmark came, I asked her to come to my place in the late afternoon, before we went to my parents'. She came right on time, asking what I wanted that we couldn't talk over dinner.

"Actually, I want to show you something before we go," I said. "It's on the roof. But you'll have to close your eyes."

"What? You want me to climb up there with my eyes closed?"

"Yes. In fact..." I got a tie from the back of a chair. "I don't trust you. Put this on."

"What? No!"

"Stop being so stubborn!" I rounded her, putting the tie over her eyes.

"Fine... I didn't know you were into that kind of stuff, Ash," she teased.

"Stop it... Don't joke like that..." I stifled a laugh. "Besides, you know I'm down for almost anything if you're in."

I led her upstairs to the rooftop. It was a terrible idea to make her go up blindfolded, but I was careful.

"Ash, if I fall, I swear I'm gonna kill you."

"Stop whining," I said. "Okay, you can look now."

The moment she opened her eyes, her jaw dropped. We could see the dark outline of the city cut the grayish baby blue of the Danish sky, which was still splashed by the scattered pink clouds and stained by the burning hot oranges and yellows of the setting sun, making her brown eyes light up with a beautiful and impossible red hue. It was a breathtaking view... A view to take one's breath for.

"You said you missed painting," I said. "I know it's not Ireland or Italy, but it's still pretty, right?"

I followed her eyes as they scanned the rooftop. On a corner, lay a blanket, several pillows, paints, brushes, and...

"A canvas... How did you--?" She trailed off, pointing at the easel. "Why would you-- Why are you being so nice to me, Ash?"

"Because..." I shrugged. "I wanted to. I couldn't help myself."

No, I wasn't going to tell her I did those things because I was addicted to that smile of hers and to the way her eyes lit with happiness every time; because I was desperately in love with her, like never before, and all I ever wanted was to make her happy. No, I would keep all that to myself, because I wasn't expecting anything in return. I knew she would never reciprocate.

"I won't have enough time to--"

I raised my camera so she could see it.

"You can take as many pictures as you like and finish it later." I placed the camera in her hands. "Go ahead, while you still have some natural light."

I settled on the pillows, quietly watching her roam around the roof to get the right angle. She clicked several times, not only at the sky and the whole scene but also at some individual buildings. Finally, she turned around and looked at me in silence. I didn't ask. I was used to her staring at me all the time; she was probably just studying the curve of my cheekbones or something. She raised the camera and took a picture of me, then asked for my help taking a few more shots before starting to paint.

When night fell, and it became impossible to keep going, she lay down by my side, and we watched the stars. I took a sharp breath in and almost fell drunk with her familiar perfume.

"I can never thank you enough," she said out of the blue. "You're always doing these amazing things for me... I don't think I deserve it."

"Shut up..."

"I'm serious, Ash. I don't know how to thank you."

Just say you love me.

"Just say thank you," I said.

"Thank you."

We stayed like that for a while, looking at the silver-dotted sky in silence. I was struck with the overwhelming need to pull her close and nest her in my arms, but I stayed strong. I just lay flat beside her, in silent contemplation, praying that my dick wouldn't give me away until it was dinner time.

Val helped me take everything downstairs. To my luck, she didn't find it too hard, so she didn't realize I had gone out of my way to please her. I held the almost-finished canvas in front of me, analyzing the strokes. I couldn't get as many colors as I wanted, so I just bought a few basics. I figured she could mix them to get close, but that was ridiculous.

"The sky looks amazing," I said.

"I know. I'm in love with that color."

"Is this blue or gray?"

"A bit of both." She put the cushions back on the couch. "With just a splash of white."

"Sounds tricky."

"Nah! It was easy! That's the same color of your--"

She cut herself short, stiffing up when I turned to look at her.

Don't ask.

"What? My what?" I did it anyway, curiosity digging its sharp claws into my brain.

"Your eyes." She turned to me. "That sky was the same color as your eyes... I know it all too well."

I swallowed hard, searching for something in her face. A look, a sigh, any clue to what might be lurking in her mind. Her eyes rested on my clenching jaw, and I became aware of how close we were now, wondering when that had happened. After all this time running away, it seemed like I had only been gravitating around her until she came close enough to pull me back in. And now she was saying she was in love with the color of my eyes. She reached for my face, and I flinched.

"I'm sorry." She backed away, but I closed the distance again.

Not able to resist anymore, I seized her lips and gave in to that building tension.

_____

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