The Second Worst Love Story Ever (+18)

40. What Ash Had Done

Valentina sat back in her chair, wiping away the rest of her tears. She seemed calmer now that she had told me her story. But now she was about to explain how I fit in all this, how I had affected her newfound view of life. I just braced myself for the possible accusations and small fights that might be coming my way.

"Ash was this handsome ass of a womanizer from my work," she joked, and we both smiled. "Charming, confident... But I never swooned over him like the other girls, you know. He was such a dork."

"Hey!"

"But after a while of working with him and getting to know him better, I started to see Ash differently. I saw a smart, sweet guy that cared about me and made me laugh like no one else. Ash made me so fucking happy, and that cute bunny-smile of his started to look irresistible. I couldn't handle myself around him."

"Tell me about it..."

She smirked, but then her eyes became dark. "The problem was that I didn't want to fall for Ash, not after what I had gone through. But Ash was so fucking perfect. I didn't stand a chance. I went ahead and did something I had promised myself I would never do again."

"Becoming my girlfriend,'' I finished the thought.

"Exactly. But Ash too was becoming jealous and angry, confirming my suspicions that love ruins people and that it is a bad thing... And when he told me he loved me, I freaked out and ran away. I lied, said I didn't like him anymore, hurt him."

"Don't get me wrong. I do understand you better now, but when is the part I'm supposed to like in this story?"

"We're almost there, I promise. This is where I need you to understand me." She leaned in, dropping the third person discourse. Things were about to get serious. "After we made peace and became friends again in Seattle, I still felt like shit about everything, and I felt like you might want space. So when Lucas sent me to Denmark for that convention, I didn't consider for a second to go looking for you. You have to believe me. But your mom found me, and you already know the rest."

"Yeah..." I rolled my eyes at the memory.

''I was so caught up in the emotion that seeing you again had brought, that I could barely say a word to you."

"I do remember we being very awkward around each other... That until we were naked, of course."

"Yeah, everything gets easier and simpler when we get naked, so you understand why it was so hard for me to even remember I had a boyfriend. I mean, you were right there in front of me, and I thought you and I would never have another chance, and then..."

I gave her a frown, torn between the realization that she had wanted me so much for so long and the pain from all the mess we had created. "Okay, I'll give you that. If I had been thinking straight, I'd never have made a move myself, and I remember I kissed you first."

"See? It's impossible to be reasonable! Then when we met again in Dublin, I tried to tell you about Gunner, but you kept interrupting me."

"Yeah, yeah, I know that already, but do you know what really pissed me off? That you kept saying you didn't do relationships, and you showed up with this guy!"

"I didn't love him. I only did that to try and forget about you, Ash. But the moment I saw you again in Seattle, I realized I was far from being over you. I still loved you, still wanted you with everything in me."

I tried to ignore just how good that was to hear. "Then why did you keep dating him?"

"Because he was a safety net. I knew that as long as I had him, I would have an excuse not to take that leap with you. I know I shouldn't have kept sleeping with you. But those moments were the only thing that kept me going for a while, and I'm not sorry."