The Second Worst Love Story Ever (+18)

21. Cock-Hungry Lunatics

"To single life!" I toasted.

My friends instantly brought their glasses down, groaning, except for Noah, who still hadn't grown a pair, and was currently hiding his status.

After I realized Val was finally out of my system -- and apparently, I was out of hers -- I set myself to embrace a new beginning. So that weekend, after I came back from New York, I went out with the guys and put my mind into getting me some skirt.

"I'm so glad you're back to normal," Noah said.

"Yeah, it's good to be back."

Misha nodded towards the bar. "Speaking of which: hotties six o'clock."

We turned to look, and there was indeed a group of hotties wooing behind us, one had a white veil. I raised a brow at Noah, but he grimaced at me in return.

"What the fuck?" I said.

"Hm... I think I'll lay low for now. The night's just begun."

"Oh, really?" I asked him with a little too much attitude. "That's what you're gonna go with?"

He glared at me, eyes carrying a silent threat. "Yes. Tonight I just wanna see how you go."

"Still, I could use a wingman."

"You never needed one, and you still don't."

"Oh, for God's sake! If you two need privacy, we'll be smoking outside." Ethan got up with Misha, and they headed to the door.

"What the hell, man? You gonna rat me out?" Noah asked once they were out of earshot.

"Of course not. As much as I hate your little secrets, I would never do that. Just tell me one thing. Why won't you go with me?"

"Okay, fine! I'll admit it." He slapped the surface of the table. "It's because of Carla."

"I knew it!"

"Yes! I'm in love with her, and I don't want to be with some drunk-ass bachelorette."

"You sure? They're real easy after a couple of tequila shots."

"Just get out of my face and go enjoy your freedom." He shooed me like I was some filthy bird.

I approached the group of laughing, tipsy women like I belonged. Confidence was the key, especially when dealing with so many at the same time. Sure, good looks came a long way but walking like you owned the place was lethal. I could feel all their eyes on me, and I hadn't even opened my mouth yet when the bride-to-be threw her arms around my neck like we'd been friends our whole lives.

"Hi! Can I have your underwear?" She yelled at my face.

"What?" I asked under a laugh.

"It's hen night!"

"She getting married!"

"Oh, so it's a dare," I said. "I don't know. We just met, and you're already trying to get into my pants."

They awed in unison until the cutest one, yelled, "then drink with us!"

The group cheered, and I ordered them a new round of the weird pink cocktails they were having.

This was the easiest trick I'd ever pulled. I was having a genuinely good time with those cock-hungry lunatics. We drank and bonded. I helped the bride with some dares -- many of which included someone taking body shots from my navel -- and when the bar finally closed, they invited me to tag along.

We partied and raved through the streets, and when the time came for them to go back to the hotel, I kept my promise and gave the bride my boxers. The thirsty look of some bride's maids didn't pass me unnoticed, and I swear I heard a wolf whistle.

That's it, Ash. All you have to do is pick one.

I decided to check with the bride first to make sure I wouldn't end up having sex with a committed woman again. We sat on a stone bench and watched the other girls as they tried to hail a cab.

"Have your eyes on someone special, love?" she asked.

"Not really, I just wanna know--" I was cut in by a very confusing kiss. I was proud of myself because not for a second I gave in. I kept my eyes open and gently pushed her away, holding her arms. "What the fuck, Nora?"

"I'm sorry! I'm just worried that after tomorrow I will never see another dick again... Aside from me husband's of course."

"Oh, don't tell me you're having second thoughts. Galen seems like a great guy."

"I don't know... I feel like it's my last chance to ever be with another man, and I want it to be you... You're so nice and funny." She came to kiss me again, but I pulled away before she could.

''I'm flattered, trust me, but this is wrong. Come on, you have a great thing going on with your fiancé. Don't ruin it because you're scared."

"Oh, my God! I'm such a hoor!" she cried out, bursting with tears. "I can't believe I was gonna cheat on my fiancé on our wedding eve!"

"No, no..." I threw my arm around her. "You're just scared, and it's okay. It's a big commitment you're about to make. It's normal to feel nervous and have some stupid ideas."

"Really?" She sniffed.

"Of course! But you'll do great tomorrow because it's a wonderful thing that you're about to do."

"It is!"

"And don't worry about what just happened." I winked at her. "I won't tell if you don't."

"Thank you so much, Ash." She gave me a tight hug.

"No problem. Now go get your beauty sleep."

Nora went back to the others, and I had to think about how changed I was. I've always been against fooling around with committed women, but if there was one thing I had learned in the past weeks was that once my dick stared to do the thinking, there was no telling what I might do.

"I saw that,'' I heard one of the bride's maids say from behind me.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"I'm talking about how you convinced my future sister-in-law not to bail on her wedding." 

"Oh, that..." I smiled at her. "That was nothing. She just needed a pep talk."

"Still, it was very sweet of you." She smirked and her next words were said against the shell of my ear. "It's getting so late. Why don't you come back with us?"

I smiled at her, and we kissed before going back to their hotel.

***

The next morning, after I had sneaked my way out without running into any of the girls, I was surprised by none less than Bree, waiting for me at the lobby of my building.

"Had a night out?" she asked.

She didn't seem mad, but I still lied to her. What kind of a jerk would I be if I just admitted I had gotten laid to the girl I liked?

"Yeah, I crashed at Ethan's couch last night," I said. "It's not what you think."

"Sure..." She huffed a laugh, then showed me a brown paper bag and a take-out coffee tray. "I got breakfast." 

The winds were finally changing in my favor. I could barely hide how happy I was that this amazing woman had decided to give me a chance. We talked a lot that morning and got to know each other. She worked at the university, teaching Irish literature, and I was blown away by how smart and beautiful she was.

I learned that she had two older brothers and a ton of cousins and that almost everyone in her family was a teacher too or related to academic life in some way. I spent such a nice day with her, and we didn't even have sex. I loved the way she blushed whenever I paid her a compliment.

"I had a great day. Thanks for giving me a chance," I said when she was about to leave. "I promise you won't regret it."

"Don't thank me. Thank your friend Val. She was the one who convinced me to do it."

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