Ask/Dare Bruce, Jeremiah, Edward, Oswald, 514A, & Jerome - Gotham *OPEN* + MS

Mini Skit #13 *Resident Evil references* (ft. Selina Kyle)

Bruce: *notices that Jeremiah is cross-dressing* *Picture Jeremiah dressed up as Alexia Ashford from Resident Evil* Jere- I am- I am so telling Jim! *tries very hard not to look at him* Stop that! Stop that right now! I am telling Jim! *pulls out his phone and frantically tries to dial Jim's number with one hand while using the other to cover his eyes* That was Selina's Halloween costume, Jeremiah! 

Jeremiah: *protests* But I'm a pretty girl!!!

Bruce: You're not a girl! Take that off before someone sees you! 

Months later at a cafe...

*Bruce, Selina, & Five all sit at a table under a black umbrella* 

Selina: I really can't believe Jeremiah ruined my costume just by wearing it. Now, I can't play Code Veronica the same way again. 

Bruce: Look, I'm really sorry about that. Besides, how the Tartarus did he get a hold of it anyway?

Selina: I'm not sure. But I guess that desperate-as-fuck thot bitch is so desperate and thirsty for your attention, that he apparently resorted to cross-dressing. 

Bruce: Geez, that guy actually looks worse in Alexia's dress than her brother. I mean, I think I would have been able to handle him dressing like a girl back before he fell into the chemical vat but how he currently looks? Eaugh!

*Bruce, Selina, & 514A all laugh at that*

Selina: *chuckles* But it's ok, I guess. I still have my 2nd and 3rd choices. *holds up both costumes* Should I go as Claire Redfield or Jill Valentine?

*Both Bruce and Five ponder this* 

514A: Eh, y'know what? I'll go as Jill. You can go as Claire, Selina. 

Selina: Are you sure? You know this costume is meant for women, right? 

514A: Yeah, but at least I think I can pull it off better than a ginger clown that tried to pose as Alexia. I'll even make some modifications. Instead of a miniskirt, I'll wear some black shorts because how the Tartarus can women walk around with those on??? As for the top, well, as a precaution to avoid getting sick, I'll probably find a white undershirt to wear underneath and maybe a jacket as well. I could even tie it around my waist to make it look like a skirt. 

Selina: Well, if you say so. You will definitely need my help on that one, Five. 

514A: I know we all agreed that we should all pick one Resident Evil character to be this Halloween, for that Halloween ball at Cobblepot Manor. So which character did you pick, Bruce? 

Bruce: Chris Redfield, Claire's brother. He's got some experience in the military and combat in general. Plus, he prefers to take the initiative on most situations and is a very loyal guy. 

Selina: Yeah, I can actually see you dressed up as him. 

514A: Say, isn't Jill like Chris' girlfriend  or whatever? Because with you going as Chris and me going as Jill, that would make way to much sense.

Bruce: I'm not sure. I mean, they are pretty close but the games never suggest such a thing. Oh, and that's not the thing that would make too much sense. I wouldn't be surprised in the slightest if Jeremiah decided to show up as Wesker. Now, THAT would make too much sense. Or even god forbid, Alfred Ashford. 

Selina: Bruce, there are more creepier characters in the series than Alfred Ashford. Like Saddler or Salazar. 

Bruce: Mmh, true. I mean, it could be worse. He could probably try the whole Alexia shtick again but this time with one of her forms. Man, even to this day, I still can't figure out if Alexia's mutated forms are supposed to be plant-based or insect-based. I mean what could be more scarier than Jeremiah walking around semi-nude with his schlort hanging out. 

514A: Puh-lease, his schlort isn't even that big. Oswald told me the other day that Jeremiah is not even invited. So don't worry about that. Plus, even if he was invited, he probably would end up sewing dead leaves to his boxers, or even show up in a bodysuit. 

Bruce: Yeah, but Jeremiah is also a notorious party crasher. I mean, just look at what he did last year. There was a white box and from that box was a rainbow cake. Everyone at the party was curious as to where it came from, until a few hours later, Jeremiah burst through the cake and he was nude! No one even wanted eat that cake after that because it was contaminated with Jeremiah's germs. Besides, if someone were to have ate that cake, they would have gotten sick with E. Coli or something else. 

Selina: Ed also told me that he planned on hiring some bouncers. He even asked the GCPD if he could borrow some of their officers as well. If Jeremiah even tries to crash the party, he'll be kicked out. If that's not enough, we can always do something about it. We all know how to fight him off, right? He'll be outnumbered. Besides, Ivy said that she was planning on going as one of Alexia's mutated forms. 

Bruce: Well, Jeremiah does have the green and red hair for it. Oh wait! No he doesn't! *snaps both of his fingers* EYYYYYY! But I guess Ivy looks better as Alexia. Because at least she's hot while Jeremiah looks like a complete dumpster fire. 

514A: Weren't you the one responsible for him looking like that? 

Bruce: No. He did it to himself because as he was ramming me against the railing at Ace Chemicals and punching me because I rejected him, but when he was about to punch me again, he crashed through the damn thing. Because if that railing broke at any point before that, I would've have fallen in there with him and I wouldn't be here right now, now would I? 

514A & Selina: No, I suppose you wouldn't be. 

Bruce: *sighs* Well, ok. Let's hope it goes well this time. 

514A: *stands up determined, walks forward for a few steps* So, it's settled then. *turns around and points at Selina* You're going as Claire. *points at Bruce* You're going as Chris. *thumbs himself in the chest* And I'm going as Jill. 

A/N: Damn, this was a long one. This took me nearly 2 whole days to complete. And yeah, I am aware that it's a little too early for Halloween. But I couldn't resist making this. Originally, this was just going to be a reference to the "GET OUT OF MY FISH TANK" vine but then I thought, "Hey! Why not make a skit out of it to go with it?"