Ask/Dare Bruce, Jeremiah, Edward, Oswald, 514A, & Jerome - Gotham *OPEN* + MS

Mini Skit #51 (ft. Selina Kyle)

Jeremiah: *notices that Bruce is with 514A and Selina* I see you're still with Cat slut and the inferior version of you. When are you going to finally leave them and get with me? Come to think of it, why would you fuck 2 2nd-rate and the lowest of the low citizens over the real deal? My dick may not be as big as yours but it can be quite the experience. Back in St. Ignatius, all the men wanted me there and I slept with each and every one of them. There were even a few... *while looking directly at Selina* ...BETTER... *looks back at Bruce* ...girls.

Ed: *yells from another room* NO THEY FUCKING DIDN'T!!! 

Jeremiah: There are even a few that LIVED to tell of the experience they had with me. They were all so warm and tight. Don't worry. I used protection. Wouldn't want them to get sick. 

Oswald: *also yells from another room* NO THERE FUCKING AREN'T!!! 

Bruce: Based on the fact that Ed and Oswald just called bullshit, those are lies. If someone did have sex with that alleged amount of people you're claiming right now, they wouldn't be so Lovecrafty-descriptive about it. And that man was abstinent. I don't want your melted marshmallow of a schlort nor it's potentially-contaminated, virus-infested residue anywhere inside me. You're right about one thing: no one wants to get sick with an STD. I would rather catch the worst disease known to humanity. Which is basically me having the same disease Strauss had in that terrible 'Bleeders' film. *shudders in disgust* Eaugh... And you want to know what I think about you? I think you're just angry and jealous cause you're bitter and single. You had your chance with Ecco, but then you had to be an ungrateful prick and shoot her. I'm never going to hook up with you. Who would want to hook up with a radioactive melted marshmallow bullshitter? Get a job in the circus you used to live in. The same one you shouldn't have left. You'd make an excellent addition to their freak gallery. 

Selina & 514A: *in unison* Ohohoho~! 

Ed: *yells from another room again* DID OZ AND I MISS A BURN?!?!?! 

514A: Yeah! 

Oswald: *also yells from another room again* SHIT!!! 

Jeremiah: So do you have room for a 4th at least? 

Bruce: This relationship isn't vacant to psychotic Valeskas like you. 

514A: *angrily* No way! This year, it's a 3-some! *while holding up a sign with a 2 on it* Not 2. *gets rid of the 1st sign in favor of a similar sign but with a 4 in it instead* Not 4. *He then picks up a sign with "TRES!!!, before it changes to the number 3"* TRES!!! THREE!!! *drops the other sign and picks up a sign that says "Got it?!"* Got it?! 

Jeremiah: Had it but then chose to ignore it. *while walking away ominously* Just you wait, Bruce. THIS ISN'T OVER UNTIL I SAY IT'S OVER!!! *turns to the hallway* OH, AND FUCK YOU, EDWARD AND OSWALD!!! 

Ed and Oswald: *in unison* FUCK YOU TOO, YOU GINGER BITCH!!!

Later... 

*Bruce is in Jeremiah's room at night while Jeremiah sleeps* 

Bruce: *whispers while looking down on Jeremiah* You're nothing but a pile of... steamy... shit. *hits Jeremiah's face with the back of his hand before going up close to Jeremiah's face* Radioactive... Trash. 

A/N: BUUUUUUUUUUUURN!!! Man, I made a few Lovecraft references today in this skit. But I'm actually working on a crossover-fic of The Shadow Over Innsmouth and Gotham. Only it's more of a transformation fic than a traditional crossover. It's called "The Innsmouth Horror in Gotham". A brief fun fact if you will: Did you know that well-known Lovecraft film veteran Jeffrey Combs actually appeared in 2 episodes of Gotham? I bet you all didn't know that. I didn't either until a few weeks ago. He was also the guy who played the father of Julian Lambrick (Robin Lord Taylor) in the 2012 film "Would you Rather". I'll leave you to do your own research. The more you know. 

Edit: I edited this and added more to it because I wasn't satisfied with how it turned out yesterday.