Life as a Basic White Girl

Idek lol

Hey whats UPPP

so im at work rn right? Right. And im slowly realizing that im cripplingly alone. The problem is, yes, i would like a boyfriend but my ass iS SO PICKY. AND ALL THE GUYS I LIKE NEVER EVER LIKE ME BACK.

also im anxious as fuck right now so thats cool.

i just have this constant unrelenting fear that everyone secretly hates me and idk what im doing wrong, but for some reason im always the one under fire. I just want to make someone laugh or smile or brighten someones day. 

There are a few friends that im worried about so i try my best to always cheer them up with a meme or a joke, but sometimes it feels like i annoy them by trying to make them smile.

Some people want to be sad, and that's okay. However, I am also one of those people who hate to see their friends upset because my friends are literally my whole world right now. The other half of me is struggling to try and find a relationship. I highkey would like a boyfriend and i highkey may or may not be crushing on someone. 

I am just never gonna show it (because i tend to be obvious when i crush) and im never gonna tell them. Ive been through the run of the mill with guys who i really really liked about seven or eight times and i just cant keep putting myself through rejection. At this point, it feels like every guy thinks im ugly or conceided or something. it makes me sad. 

on the outside to everyone im Lizzo, but on the inside im billie eillish.. ya feel? (I don't because my emotions are numb haaa)

anyway night yall