Rule #1

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(MY OWN PERSONAL HELL).

It's called college. It is my own personal hell. Actually, it happens to be my favorite of all of the hells; work, home, school, family, friends. BUT AHH college. That's a thing. Ya know, before all of this started, I used to dream about getting to shop for my dorm, and buy textbooks, and find a cute boyfriend on campus, and live it up at parties.

It's called a dream for a reason, sweetheart. 

Now I am broke, and wish I could return everything that I bought for my dorm. I have not once touched any of the textbooks I bought. I am still just as single as when I started college. (I am sure at this point that I just repel boys). To top it all off, the closest I get to a party is playing Cards Against Humanity on the floor of my dorm with my suitemates, while passing around a bottle Svedka and a half cooked bowl of ramen noodle soup.

When my roommate Mandy makes a joke about wanting to jump off a bridge and die, my response is not "Awww, no don't say that, I like having your company, it will all be better soon! AWWwww *insert smiley faces and rainbows here*".

Nah. 

I say something more along the lines of "well shit man, can I come too?".

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