Life as a Basic White Girl

Rule #20

Oops.

 I broke someone's heart today.. about 45 minutes ago. 

There was this kid named Ryan, we matched on Bumble.. he was super super sweet and caring and a total cutie. 

However, even though I guess I thought I wanted a relationship, I realized just how unprepared I was after our first date. (Nothing he did at all btw).

Mainly because I have a lot of anxiety and I am still recovering from my last relationship. 

But he was honestly so so sweet, like a dream personality and I think he deserves the world and all the happiness it has to offer.

But it would be unfair to him for me to enter into a relationship when I cannot guarantee full commitment from myself, also we go to different colleges, and it has only been five days or so. 

I just feel so bad because he is the sweetest. Ya know? I feel like I crushed him and I hope he is doing alright. I apologized at least 5000 times when trying to explain that I was not ready. I just hope he is okay and I hope we can be friends.

I seem to be doing a lot of sad stuff this week.

Please pray for me to be better, because I only want to be happy. But I feel like a monster.

Let me know if you all can relate.