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by Tonks_legacy

by Tonks_legacy

Circles
I feel like I keep going in circles and circles and circles. Emotionally, I can't stop.
I'm what you may call.. boy crazy. I can survive alone, but I strongly dislike it. It was cool for a while, but now I'm just really sad. Why do the bad people get to be happy? It's not fair.

And I am mad at myself for repeating myself and feeling sorry and ranting online like this over and over expecting some magical force to come down and fix everything. It's pathetic of me. I'm just so.. angry.

Will I ever be good enough for anyone?
Did I trap myself in a cycle?
How the fuck do I get out of the cycle?
Why can't I look like all those other girls that all the guys want? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Maybe this is it. Maybe I'm just crazy, manic, alone. Depressed. Yep.
I just UGH want to cry and scream in frustration.
Every week it seems like I'm falling for a new guy and I feel pathetic because why can't I just stay in one place? There are a lot of guys who I love who would make great boyfriends. I've been rejected so many times though it makes me crazy. I can't feel anything.
When I got "rejected" yesterday. Or at least I think I did... I felt so upset I was dizzy and felt like I was floating and choking at the same time. That's how much it hurts now. I can't take it anymore, I don't know what to change. The boys I like don't like me back and that makes everything painful. This guy (pretend his name is Ralph) is my DREAM GUY. Everyone else is falling in love, why can't I? I just pray I don't end up as a lonely man hating fifty year old woman like my 12th grade English teacher was. (That's what my nightmares are made of).lifes not fair, so I might as well just try and build a bridge to get over it.