Musical One-Shots

Connor Murphy x Reader: Angst (And a lil' Fluff) // Black Angels

TW: self-harm, self-deprivation, cursing, etc.

You sigh heavily.

It was another day of high school.

Another day of being bullied.

Another day of wanting to die.

It was only your boyfriend, Connor Murphy, that kept you going. He was always there to defend you, always there to protect you. But he couldn't be with you 24/7, and today, you were just going home by yourself.

And for once, you were happy.

Walking home from school, mindlessly playing with your H/L H/C hair, you see an ambulance pull up to the side of the road, across from yours.

Poor person. I hope they'll be alright!

...

Beep. Beep. Beep.

"H-hi, i-is t-this," someone let out a breath. "Y/N?"

"Yeah. Why?" you reply emotionlessly.

"I'm sorry, we regret to inform you that your alleged boyfriend-"

"NO!" you shrieked. "What the hell happened!"

This can't be happening. A dream. This is all a dream.

Yeah, I'll tell myself that when I'm crying alone in a bathroom.

After a small silence, you snapped again, "Don't regret to inform me. Go. Besides," you force a bitter laugh, tears pricking at your eyes, "I'm going to have to hear it anyway, right?"

"Connor Murphy suffered a heart attack while walking back from school. He wanted to let you know that he loved you and to live for him."

Tears silently flew down your cheeks.

"A-And?"

"They weren't able to-"

You slam down the phone.

Connor Murphy.

My Connor Murphy.

Dead.

You shake you head and and smile in hysteria, tears freely flowing down you face.

His flat brown hair, how annoyed he looked when you put a flower crown on him even though the happiness was in his eyes, how his brown eyes shone brightly among all the others you'd ever seen.

It was all gone now.

A razor.

That was what you needed.

Now.

You quickly searched the bathroom with tears clouding your eyes, and pulling out your emergency razors.

You had been clean for 7 months.

You breath hitched as you realize Connor was the one who pulled you out of it.

There isn't a way I can hurt or kill myself with these without dishonoring his memory.

You look up, pretending he was watching you (maybe he was), and scream happily while more tears stained your cheeks, "I'm sorry!"

Wiping you tears and attempting to calm yourself, you put on the lightest amount of makeup and dress nicely and head to the tallest building you could within range.

"Ticket to the balcony, please," you say, giving the fakest smile you could muster.

"Granted," replied the employee, and handed you a ticket. "Please pay at the end of the trip, there is a ticket processor at the end of the gate."

"Thank you!" you said cheerfully, the two words clearly infused with sadness.

You rode up the balcony and stepped out of the elevator.

Taking in the beautiful night sky, stars dotting the sky.

It's what I would have wanted as my final day here.

You took off your cardigan, and took off your shoes. You step up on to the ledge, and-

"Y/N," a voice behind you says.

You turn around. "Mom...Dad?" tears started flowing down you cheeks again. Uncontrollably.

"Y/N, please, don't do this," she begs.

"WHY?" you shriek back. "I-there's-I have n-nothing t-to l-live f-for. And y-your d-d-dead too, so I-I'll s-see you a-again-"

Your father sighed. "Y/N."

Your eyes flit up to meet his, clutching your mom's hand.

"Are you really sure you want to do this?"

'Yeah." you say quietly.

And with that, you take a leap of faith.

...

Your feet softly touch the ground, black wings folding over your back.

"Y/N!" you hear someone yell. "Why the in the FUCKING HELL did you make me watch that?"the familiar teen picks up and spins you, before angrily smashing his lips onto yours.

"I'm-s-sorry," you breathe out, folding your wings over him. "I-I had to. There was no way I was living on my own."

Hiss eyes quietly meet yours. "It doesn't matter. Y/N, why would you-"

"For you," you said meekly, tears threatening to spill.

"WHAT! FOR ME? The pot addicted, depressed school shooter? Y/N, you could of had an amazing life! A husband and two kids! A nice, happy family with no problems! So-" he took a small breath and whispered, "why would you pick me?" tears pricked as his eyes.

"Connor," you whispered, feeling his head turn to you."I love you. That's the only explanation. That is the correct explanation," you say, tucking a piece of hair behind your ears, you E/C eyes forced to the ground.

"And you can't convince me otherwise."

"Alright," Connor says, corners of his mouth tipped up.

"If that's really what you want, then I shall grant your wish."

...

So-

This is my first time writing angst. Um, I don't hate it? That's the most positive thing I can say.

So, yeah, sorry if it's no really angst, I found good angst starters literally after I finished this story, so yeah, if I ever write angst again I'll use those :)

-BobaTea