Musical One-Shots

Suicidal! Reader x Connor // The Fall

⚠️TW: SUICIDE ⚠️

She watched the wind carry leaves beneath her with envy. They knew they were going to land somewhere gently. Her, not so much.

She looked down at everyone bustling around. There was no one for her. Nothing. But- Connor.

She whipped out her phone, calling him and letting out tears as she leaned on the nearest wall.

With every ring, he hope grew thinner and thinner until there was none left.

"You have reached the inbox of Connor Murphy. Wait until you hear the beep to record a message. BEEP."

"Connor, love, I'm so sorry. I'll miss you. I really didn't deserve you. You're too good for this world. So go pursue art. Get married and have children. You'll go down in history. I'll see you in a bit."

She choked back sobs as she looked down at all the bright lights and people moving around. This was it. Here goes nothing.

As her foot hovered over the edge, she had one last thought.

'I have so much to live for.'

She let out a scream as her foot slipped, leaving her falling backwards.

And then just like that, time seemed to stop. She had time to think. To clear her head.

As she slowly turned over, she saw people of all ethnicities, all religions, and it was soothing. Seeing everyone acting so calm and collected and knowing where the want to go...

She was finally going to die, huh? Nobody would miss her anyways. So this was it. Did it always happen this slowly, or was this just some cruel force?

The brisk evening air felt calming, as if she were a leaf simply being taken somewhere else. Maybe somewhere where she felt loved and understood. Or even just seen.

She sighed and closed her eyes but couldn't get one person out of her mind. Connor. He would hate her for this...wasn't he always saying how he would be there for her though?

Never mind that. Once she was gone, he'd move on. Get a good job, a loving wife, and have several little children running around the house.

And she was happy for him. There was no way she could give him the future he wanted. The one he deserved.

As the ground gradually got closer, she tried to remember a few happy moments. All of them were with Connor.

"Hey, babe?" Connor asked, lying off with his body half off her bed.

A soft "Hm?" left her lips as she glanced over. She closed her book with a sigh and fell backwards, onto the pillow.

"Brown isn't an actual wavelength. It's really only a darker shade of orange. It technically isn't a color, kinda like how pink is to red...? Does that mean brunettes are just darker haired gingers?" He asked, rolling over to cuddle her, wrapping his noodle like arms around her torso.

"Connor, Jesus, I worry about you sometimes." She laughed softly, closing her eyes and smiling.

He hummed out a response and closed his eyes, both of them drifting off to sleep.

"I have so much to live for..." She said, letting out a shaky breath. "Let me take it back! Please!" She yelled, looking down.

A crowd of onlookers had gathered to watch the falling girl, several people covering their mouths. Great. Now she had a fan club.

People were pointing and yelling. It was all just a bug scene of chaos. They were all scattering to get out of her way. There was a big circle of concrete waiting to smack her and take away everything.

Maybe it wouldn't hurt. Maybe she'd die on impact.

But still, Connor...she forgot to even say goodbye...

She felt sobs start to wrack her body as she shook, crying over the fact that he wouldn't even know what happened until her body was identified.

"I- I'm so sorry Connor." She sobbed as her whole body shook. She remembered the way he used to hug her after something stressful happened and they would just lie there for hours on end.

She remembered the way he used to seemingly glare at a canvas while painting, and the way his brush slowly moved along the canvas, getting every detail.

She remembered their first date at A La Mode, where she was an awkward, blushing, and stuttering mess and he laughed every time she got even just a little flustered at a compliment.

She remembered being with him and yelling at anyone who called him a 'school shooter' just because he wasn't like everyone else. And how he would quietly thank her as they walked away, but insisting he could handle it.

As all the memories flooded back, she knew she didn't want to die. She had so much she wanted to do. She wanted to go to college! Have kids! Grow old and look back at her younger self and regret everything.

But now she never could. The ground was coming up and fast. All she could do was hope to feel numb when she finally made contact. It would take away her pain easier.

She recalled once when Connor went with her to the doctors to get a shot. She was so embarrassed to admit she was afraid of needles, but he came nonetheless.

A doctor in a white coat walked into the room and pulled out a needle. He let out a sigh and asked her some basic questions. She instantly tensed up while answering and Connor gave her a reassuring hug.

"You'll be fine. I'm here with you the whole time." He whispered lovingly, sitting on the metal foldable chair.

The doctor poured some rubbing alcohol on a cotton ball and rubbed it gently. She was literally frozen with fear as he picked up the needle.

"I promise, this won't hurt, okay?" He asked, looking at her for consent to continue.

She nodded stiffly, scared out of her mind.

"Hey, I'm here for you. And I promise, it won't hurt too bad." Connor said, telling her look at him instead.

"I hope you're right," she mumbled, letting out a weak smile.

"1..." the doctor said, prepping.

"2..." Connor said, looking her dead in the eyes.

"3." She whispered, feeling the sharp impact of the ground. She took a sharp breath in, and that was it.

It was over for her.

A/N: Hey everyone! We're nearly at 20K when I'm writing this, so I just wanted to say a big thank you!! Especially if you put up with my shitty writing from the very beginning! Also, I'm sorry this is really sad- I was not I'm the mood to write fluff. I'm still not 100% okay, but MAria and I are working to get some chapters out. Guess who's forcing Maria to watch JoJo's Bizarre Adventure and Haikyuu? I know, I'm such a good friend. Anyways, how are you all? Are you all doing alright? I hope so! Let us know in the comments! Anyways, cya! Thanks, loves!

-Anna (Salty)