Forgiven not forgotten

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The hairbrush stung my scalp like angry bees & rang my skull like a little bell!
My mom didn't have the patience to be gentle or nice.
When I wiggled she pulled!
When I cried out she swung the brush like a weapon!
One minute she was brushing & braiding.
Trying to put tiny braids in my hair.
It hurt.
She was rough.
I cried...
She pulled & swung.
I tried to be still & dry my tears.
But she was already mad 😣
The next minute...
The scissors came out 😢
And off with my hair 🤭
I wasn't just the girl with warts anymore.
I was the girl who looked like a boy who had warts all over her fingers 💔
Bullies didn't have to look for or make up reasons to pick on me.
They had all the ammo that they needed.
Oh.
To be 4 again.
If I could go back I would chase them bullies down & rub my warty fingers all over their pretty little faces 😝
My mom put medicine on my warts though and it burned them off.
I said burned!
My tiny hands felt like they were on fire 🔥
My mom laughed & said I should put on my big girl panties 🤷‍♀️
I already had them on though.
Cuz I was 4!
A kick, burning fingers & a brush beating made me a big girl.
Big girls don't cry.
Big girls don't scream.
Big girls take the abuse & pray for snuggles with their abusers.
Looking for love.

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