The day that I turned 6 I walked around all day holding up 1 hand & 1 finger behind my back! I felt like I was really getting somewhere in life cuz I finally needed 2 hands to count my age on!
I was a girl with nervous habits.
Crossing my fingers constantly was one of them!
I told myself that if my fingers were crossed then nothing bad could happen 🤞
It drove my mom crazy!
"Fix your fingers"
"stop that or you'll have joint problems"!
My mother always talked to me like I was an adult and she expected my to understand. I didn't even know what the hell joints were other than the weed wrapped in paper that she was SO FREAKING GOOD at rolling! She could roll a pretty little pinner like it was nobodies business! She was proud of that 🙃
My 6th year was harder than my fifth but it was also more fun! Because that was when my baby teeth started falling out! I loved getting a new space in the front of my mouth to explore with my tongue & imaging what the big tooth that was hiding was gonna look like! It was always such a surprise 😁 and the way my mom talked about it CONSTANTLY made me feel so special & important! My mom had crooked teeth and needed dentures young. She REALLY wanted me to have a pretty smile! Nothing else about the way I looked ever made her feel happy. So I really hope that my smile make her feel happy ♥️ she never did tell me if it did! Compliments weren't her thing unless it was someone else! She had compliments for everyone except her and I. I imagine she probably learned that from my Grandma! Whatever the reason that she was that way it affected me greatly. The year that I was 6 all I wanted to do was ride my bike really fast and climb as high as I could onto anything that I could find! I was a daredevil! I wasn't afraid of getting hurt 🤷♀️ I had already been so incredibly hurt and had realized that I'd live through it if it didn't kill me! And if it killed me then I would be gone and it wouldn't matter! I raced to cross streets in front of cars and jumped from garage rooftops and swam at the bottom of the pool until I was sure I didn't have enough oxygen left to make it to the top! Obviously I always made it 😝 I didn't do that when I was 6 though cuz I hadn't learned how to swim at the bottom of the pool yet 😌 but I did crazy dumb things! Because when I was 6 I was prepared for stopping bad things from happening! All I had to do was cross my fingers 😊 and I was safe 🤞
YOU ARE READING
This is my truth
Non-FictionMy life has been an intense journey from a little girl who was beaten down and abused into believing that she was worthless, to a woman at 43 years of age who is still desperately searching for who she truly is. I found her though. I did. And she wr...
