He wrote my mother a letter....
Didn't want to tell her by phone.
Said "considering her absent father".
Bastard don't have souls.
God, forbid.
Forbid what?
An innocent babe?
Or a grown man sworn to honor God who devalued my newborn spirit?
Who would be the one to rot?
And then, when my daughter was turned away...
Not allowed to confess.
No man who truly honors God would turn away a soul in need of connection.
Go ahead and confess.
From inside of self.
Center=conduit
God=breath
Priests in the way of Gods mercy.
Shame.
On who though?
I am still.
My father loved me.
Even though he was afraid to stay.
Gods mercy forgave him.
It wasn't even my place.
But I did wonder...
Why was I the one labeled a bastard.
The most innocent in it all.
Innocent.
Innocent.
Innocent.
Tiny child named by grown men full of fear.
Bastard.
Failed by their shortcomings.
Yet still...
God chose to live in me.
I welcome him in the form of others.
Even that priest who refused to baptize me.
And, especially my father.
YOU ARE READING
This is my truth
Non-FictionMy life has been an intense journey from a little girl who was beaten down and abused into believing that she was worthless, to a woman at 43 years of age who is still desperately searching for who she truly is. I found her though. I did. And she wr...
