This is my truth

Who is father

At 6 years old I knew that my biological father was super cool 😎
My mother told me so all the time!
He lived with his parents who didn't want me.
So he couldn't have me.
So I was told.
He came to my apartment one day and he helped me clean out our Guinea pig cage.
It was my mom's pet but I had to take care of it.
I had to take care of all of the pets.
My Mom didn't like doing anything that involved responsibility or work.
She preferred to sit in her chair and do her search a word puzzles if she wasn't out with her friends.
My father was mortified by the state of the Guinea pig cage and my mom's lack of care.
He cared.
It bothered him alot.
But obviously not enough to intervene in my life and make a difference.
That day was the last day he came to see me.
I waited.
I prayed.
I hoped.
I dreamed.
But still...
He never came back to me.
I was told that he didn't want me.
I remained bastardly.
My birth certificate proved it.
It says to this day that I am still fatherless.
I'm glad that I didn't know that my stepdad sent him away.
People were the thing not to trust.
People lied to me.
People abandoned me.
People failed me.
The cockroaches in my bedroom were mine to conquer alone.
My hungry stomach that hurt from stress went unnoticed.
I really wanted to sleep with my bedroom light on so I could see if there were roaches...
In the dark I would swear I heard them crawling.
My stepdad cut my light string so that I couldn't reach it anymore.
I told myself the bugs would stay behind my closet door.
I wasn't afraid of monsters.
I was afraid of people.
Because they were the most unpredictable!
No one saw the agony of each day in my eyes.
They said I had a "bad attitude" because I was quiet & sullen.
Truth of it is that my heart was sunken 💔