Unwanted Command

Chapter 26 - Not Forgiven

Alina sat on the unfamiliar bed lost in her thoughts, she hadn't wanted to leave the room she was too afraid she would breakdown if she found Ryder. He had left her for a good few hours and though food had been brought to her room she hadn't eaten, the ache she felt was too much.

A knock sounded at the door; she knew it was him before he spoke.

"Ina, can I come in please?" He asked sounded as broken as she felt. She didn't want to see him but her traitorous mouth answered.

"Yes." She hated the way her voice cracked, she wanted to be strong wanted to tell him how much he had hurt her but she didn't want to show him weakness. She heard her breath hitch when he entered the room, though his black hair was a mess, though there were dark circles under his emerald eyes and if she wasn't mistaken, he had lost weight, he was still what she craved. He was still the handsome wolf who had stolen her from her mundane life and showed her what it felt like to be cherished, not only by him but the pack.

He was in front of her in seconds and on his knees, he didn't touch her but his green eyes shone with un-shed tears.

"I..I'm..so, so....sor...sorry." His usually confident and timber voice reminded her of a lost child and it broke something inside of her but she refused to let it show. She just stared at the man in front of her emotionless.

"I know." She responded surprised that even to her own ears her voice sounded devoid of emotion.

"I, I just wanted....wanted you to be safe." A tear fell from his beautiful face and it took all her strength not to cup his handsome face in her hands and wipe away those fallen tears. "Ina, I was so lost." His voice cracked again and she couldn't take it anymore, she stood from the bed and walked toward the window just having him close had her wanting to curl herself up in his arms.

"Ryder, please just stop." She managed to say keeping her gaze away from him.

"I missed you so much heart, I ached so much-"

"You did this!" She shouted at him spinning on her heel. "You Ryder! You're the one who had my memories erased, who took the pack from me who took my memories who took me away from you!" She was full on crying as she shouted at him and hadn't realised that she had stepped toward him as she spoke. "You made yourself lost and you broke me!" She covered her face hating how freely her tears were flowing for a man who ripped her memories from her. "You, you did this."

"Not me!" Suddenly her face was being held and the once green eyes were now black, this was no longer Ryder but Magnar. "I would never have let you go." He told her with absolute conviction. She found herself reaching up, she wanted to, no needed to comfort Magnar, she knew he wouldn't have sent her away but Ryder was part Magnar and vice versa.

"Magnar-"

"No, I would have mated you, made you mine and protected you!"

"Magnar, you are Ryder and he is you." She smiled at him cupping Ryder's face. "I cannot have one without the other." She bit her bottom lip trying to stop herself from crying more as she gazed into his black eyes.

"You can." Magnar sounded fierce and determined. "I can take over permanently, I would never hurt you like my weak human side." Slight panic filled her, she wanted Magnar as much as she wanted Ryder, they were as one and the thought of never gazing into Ryder's green eyes again had her heart constricting painfully.

"I'm human, do you think I'm weak?" She asked him.

"You're mine, there is nothing weak about you mate." He stated resting his forehead against her own. "I can be all you need."

"Magnar, please I-"

"We can be happy without him." He told her.

"Mag-"

"I can satisfy you, you don't need someone as weak as Ryder, the pack doesn't need him."

"Yes, Magnar! Yes I do!" She shouted at him. She hurt so much from Ryder's actions but the thought of him no longer being there, it hurt her more than she ever thought was possible. "I need him, as much as I need you." She cried and watched slowly as his black eyes turned their beautiful emerald again. "Ryder." She sighed in relief as he lent forward and brushed his lips against hers.

She hadn't wanted this, hadn't wanted to want him but she couldn't help it. She needed to feel this, needed to feel his touch, need to be held by Ryder. When she didn't pull back he kissed her again, this time with a desperation she matched, she moaned against his lips and he took advantaged thrusting his tongue in her mouth and moaning the moment their tongues connected. One of the hands that had been holding her face found their way in to her hair and encouraged her to lean back so he could deepen this kiss which she obliged.

She thrust her own hands in to his hair and held on tightly, she had no idea how much she needed his touch until this moment. The hollowness she had felt for months seemed to be disappearing with each touch of his tongue. His hands travelled down her body and cupped her backside as he lifted her. Without her permission her legs wrapped around his waist and she let out a purr of satisfaction when she felt how aroused he was.

It was Ryder who managed to end the kiss as lent his forehead against hers, she was still wrapped around him and he was still holding her tightly as their heavy breathing echoed around the room.

"I still haven't forgiven you." She managed to whisper.

"I know heart, I know." He sighed kissing her briefly again on the lips and setting her down on the floor, her legs slightly unsteady from the barrage of emotions washing over her.

"Don't send me away again." She had meant it to sound like a command but she knew it sounded like a plea.

"Never, I swear to you never."