Into Your Eyes

Chapter 34

Alex's PoV

"Jordan was killed. ECE murdered him. And since that day on I've been running from town to town. Only staying for two or three months at a town and then leaving..."

I kept the 'but now' to myself but I'm pretty sure we both know it.  Silence hung like a huge fucking building in the air, allowing Archer to soak in what I just said.

I told him everything I have to say. Would he leave me now? Just like he did a few days ago?

Archer stared into the distance and abruptly started talking.

"First of all, Jordan is in a better place now and he's definitely watching over you."

More tears fall down my face. Yes, he is in a better place and I hope that I'm making him proud.

"You didn't kill her. You didn't hold the gun and force it on her. You didn't pull the trigger that made the shot. You didn't kill her. Never blame yourself. She chose this. She chose to take the easy route. Yeah, maybe it's not easy to have a daughter that is different from others but she could have at least made an effort to show you that it's okay, it's fine. Did she though? From the day you were born she directly gave you away. She didn't even try. If it's not easy for her how would it be for you? Did she ever think that if it's not easy for her it would be even a hundred times harder for her daughter? I bet she didn't. So don't you ever say you killed her when she was the one that threw her life away because she was weak and Alex, You're not like her. Never were and never will be. Plus, you're not a freak. What you have is special and if I were to meet you from the past, I would never let go, and I would never leave"

"Yes, It's true that I left a few days ago. I'm stupid. You can punch me, kick me, and do whatever the hell you want to do. I made a mistake. And if you give this..."

He motioned between the distance between us that seemed to shrink the more he talked.

" And if you give this, us, a chance I would never make you regret it. I may do more mistakes. I'm not perfect. But I do wish that you will be able to tolerate me"

"I would be able to give you the whole world when it comes to money but if you were to do that to me, I'd feel as though I'm using you and I definitely don't want that. However, when it comes to love, I'll love you so much. God. I can't even say how much I'll love you because the love I hold for you is out of this world. Out of this fucking universe"

"I know that these may just seem like words. After all, actions speak way louder than words. If you allow me to show you that I can be whatever the hell you want me to be. I'll be your home, I'll be your salvation, and your everything"

"You said that you leave town after two or three months. Please stay. I'll protect you. I would never let anyone hurt you or lay a single finger on you. I now know that this fucking lab is after you but please, let me help. Allow me to help."

Archers' green eyes are silently begging me to let him help me. But I can't.

I don't want to drag him into this mess. ECE might target him when they know that he's someone precious to me. ECE would murder him just like they murdered Jordan...

God... No.

I already dragged Archer in. He's way too involved in this. He knows too much. People saw us together. If ECE finds out that I'm here, they'll investigate the life I'm living and if they investigate, they'll know about Archer, and if that happens.

Archer would die.

They would kill him.

They would senselessly murder him and they wouldn't feel a shred of regret.

I can't let another person die because of my own problems. Because of my own freak show of eyes. Why was all of this happening? Why me?

I've been torn limb by limb in life where everything was still intact. I've fallen to my knees because of these freak eyes and the world is not a merciful place. I've been through enough torture and suffering to last me for years. And I still ask myself the same hunting question.

Why?

What did I ever do to deserve a life like this? I can't be next to my loved ones. I can't stand next to anyone in this life because they'll only be dragged into darkness by my demons.

In the end, I'll always be standing alone. On my own.

Maybe that's my fate. Anyone that is close or precious to me dies and leaves. I'm sick and tired of it. First my parents, then Jordan and now Archer. Archer will face the same fate of Jordan if I don't leave.

Why should I wait for him to die and leave when he can live if I left?

Tears have stopped falling a long time ago. I feel different and not in a good way. However, I don't care. I'll protect Archer.

I force the dullest smile on my face and turn around to face Archer. His green eyes pierce right through my soul and my resolve wavers, but I push through any doubts I had and keep the tight smile on my face.

His eyes are hopeful and my heart is put back together only to be shattered again and again.

I can neither move forward nor move back because it's painful. However, staying where I am right now is the most painful.

Yet, I keep pushing through and I keep striving to move. I keep craving and needing a life where I could be normal, where I could be filled with joy. Why is it that I keep doing that? Why do I keep fighting the inevitable? Why? Why? WHY?

I'm sure that I'm not the only one. Why do people keep on striving for something that's not there? Why do we crave the impossible? Why do we fight what's doomed to happen? Why can't we just wait in silence?

We ask too many questions that can not be answered.

And yet... Yet...

We keep on doing the same.

Over and over again.

Me: Okay that was deep
(mentally pat me on the back)

Best friend: not really, I've read better.

Me: BITCH! THIS IS ART! RESPECT MY ART!

Best friend: Whatever. I'm out of here. My baby is calling.

Me: Shawn is not your baby... -.-

Best friend: Yet.

(leaves laughing like a maniac)

She's crazy but I love her!

ANYWAYS!

DON'T FORGET TO ADD MORE STARS TO THIS STORY!

Best friend: Can't you just say please vote?

Me: Nooooooo. Besides, I thought you left.

Best friend: Nah. I forgot my Cheetos.

I take it back. I don't love this girl.

Best friend: BITCH I HEARD THAT!

STAY TUNED FOR MORE CHAPTERS! If I don't die :(