speak. • sequel to mute. • muke au

loved.

Luke.

"Fuck.." I mumble, rushing out the door, not wanting to be late. I was honestly so nervous to meet with Ava, I really didn't want to. She made me extremely uncomfortable, so I obviously didn't want to be alone with her...

I try to push the thoughts out of my head as I make my way to her apartment. My heart is thumping by the time I pulled into the lot. I can see her silhouette coming towards me. My stomach churns, I feel guilty for lying, but it will all be over soon. After this...I will never see her again. I will cut off all communication with her. I don't her in my life, she has done nothing but made me hate her.

 She pulls open the door and I hold my breath, waiting for an inappropriate comment or rude greeting.

"Hi Luke." she says quietly, closing the door softly. It catches me a tad off guard, but I don't complain.

"So, uh, where are we going?" I ask.

"Is Starbucks okay?" her voice is soft and considerate, as if she was nervous as well.

"Y-yeah." i swallow.

I take the route to the nearest Starbucks (there is one on almost every corner). We both get out, not saying anything. Even as we wait in line, it's silent. The only time she speaks is when she orders her drink.

I don't pay for her.

We sit at a table in the corner, near a large window. The chair scraps across the floor, erupting unpleasant goosebumps across my skin. I quickly sit, my stare remaining on the table.

"So..." I finally speak p once I notice she is gazing out the window, lost in thought. She doesn't move a muscle. I tap on the table and wait for her to do something, anything. She's just siting there, it's only making me more anxious.

After what seemed like forever, she speaks.

"I'm sorry..." it was barley above a whisper, I'm surprised I heard it. "I shouldn't have done that...kissed you. I'm sorry, I didn't know you were married. Well, or gay." she mumbles, looking down at her lap. " I guess I just really liked you, I saw how you were with your daughter and I just felt a need to talk to you. So...I lied. I have actually lived here my whole life, I just didn't know how else to ask you on a date." she sighs, and looks up at me. Going on, "So, when I got home, I watched every video and read everything to try and take care of a kid, like what they like and stuff. I thought that if you thought I was good with April then you would like me...I know it's stupid, but I honestly couldn't stop thinking about you. I was trying to make a good impression. I guess I kinda fucked that up. I read online that boys liked like...'aggressive girls', so...that's why I kinda forceably kissed you. I 'm sorry. Then when you told me you were gay...God. I was so embarrassed, I didn't know what else to do, I didn't want you to know how hurt I was. It was stupid and I still can't believe I said it. I'm really sorry Luke." she finishes.

I sigh, I still don;t really like her, but I guess I can see what she is taking about...I was nervous as hell I would mess up things with Mikey, even when we barley knew each other.

"It's alright." I say after a moment. Her eyes snap up to mine, filled with hope.

"Y-you're forgiving me?" she squeaked out. I nod, offering her a small smile.

"Well, yeah. I mean, I can't hate you forever. I'm over it, it's in the past." I tells her. She breaks out into a grin.

"Thanks Luke. Do you think we could just start over? Pretend this never happened?" she asks.

"Of course. Hi, I'm Luke." I smile, extending a hand across the table. She giggles and shakes my hand.

"Ava."

"Nice to meet you."

"The pleasure is all mine."

We continue to shake hands, just weirdly smiling at each other, struggling not to laugh. I look down at her hand and pull it towards me.

"What does it mean?" I question her, noticing a tattoo on her index finger, it's a date. A recent one.

"Oh, um. My sister." she said taking her hand away slowly.

"What about her?" I ask

"Um," she swallows, studying her own finger, "s-she died." I hear her throat crack and she takes in a shaky breath, clearly holding back tears."It-it was her boyfriend...he killed her. Pushed her so hard she fell and hit her head. Just gone..." tears begin to make their way down her rosy cheeks. I quickly get up and crouch down by her side, feeling immense sadness for the weeping girl.

I hate when people cry, I can't stand it.

"Hey, hey." i soothe her, she hides her face in her hands. I remove them and make her look at me. "It's okay, Ava, please don't cry. i can't stand to watch someone cry..." I hold both her hands in mine and continue to say nice words to her until she has stopped. "C'mon now, let's see you smile." I urge her, her face stares at me like stone. "C'mon Ava, smileeeee." I say in a sing song voice. I see her struggling to hold it back. I poke her cheek. "Almost there."

She can't hold it in any longer, she smiles widely and I do the same back.

"See? Everything is all right. I'm here for you."

"Yay, I've always wanted a gay bestie." she jokes, trying to lighten the mood. I laugh a little and we sit back doen, starting just a normal everyday conversation.

This day went alot better than expected, and I even made a new friend.

~

I still decide not to tell Mikey what had happened. I will just say that the position at the music store was filled already. I will tell him that Ava and I are friends, eventually. Just not now, I hate lying to him, so much.

But nothing bad happened...it was fine. Nothing he had to worry about, so why tell him? All water under the bridge.

I close the door behind me, expecting Mikey to be in the living room. He isn't. And April hasn't welcomed me either...they should be home. I make my way to the stairs, only to see Michael stumbling down them. He pauses, stares at me, then breaks into sobs. My mind floats with worried thoughts as I run t him.

"Babe...what is it? Are you okay?" I question him worriedly. he takes me by surprise, shoving me away from hard.

"Don't fucking touch me!" he shouts. I look at him, confused. Did I do something?He has never done anything like this...ever. I was extremely worried...I don't think I did anything..

"Mike-" i softly say before he cuts me off.

"No! Don't fucking 'Mikey' me. We are done Luke, it's obvious you don't love me." he says. My heart feels as if it were ripped from my chest. My throat tightens and I hold back the tears. What did I do?

"What are you talking abou-" I whimper but he cuts me off once again, his face red with anger.

"Don't pretend like you don't know! I loved you Luke!", loved?, "I have never loved anyone! How could you do this to me? To our family? What is wrong with me? Am I not enough? What did I do?" his shouting turns to whispers. I know what he's talking about now. He knows.

Ava. But who told him?

My eyes are swollen with tears, my vision clouded. "Michael." I step closer my voice quivering, "Please listen to me." I beg.

"No, get away from me Luke."

I step closer, trying to explain myself.

He pushes me away with so much force, it knocks the wind out of me. I fall to the hard ground. But that's not what hurt me.

His next words killed me.

Ended my life. All the happiness and good memories, ruined. I loved him so much, words cannot describe. And he took my heart in his hands, cradled it, taught it to love and it could all be over. Because of her. My world has crumbled to nothing. I can't live knowing that my one true love, my soul mate, feels this way towards me:

"I hate you Luke Hemmings. I hate you!"