I'm sitting in Applebee's.
Celebrating my best friends birthday.
Its all going good until...
I seen the knife laying on the table.
I didn't want one until I seen it.
I was doing okay.
Now I feel like I need one.
I'm craving one.
I'm craving a bottle of pills.
I'm craving wanting to feel something.
Anything.
But nothing is gonna change for me.
I've tried.
And tried.
And I'm at the point of giving up.
I'm spiraling.
