I'm numb.
I shouldn't be.
I don't feel things like I should.
I don't feel hurt like I should.
I laugh about it.
I don't feel happiness like I should.
I don't feel it at all actually.
I make jokes about the things I'm struggling with.
I laugh at the wrong things because I don't want to show any other emotion.
I say I'm okay.
I say I'm fine.
I say nothing is wrong.
I say I'm tired.
I say I have a headache.
I try to avoid questions.
I try to avoid speeches about things I should keep up with.
Things I should do.
Things I should try to fix.
Things I should no and already do.
It's stupid.
All of it's stupid.
Every.
Single.
Bit.
Of.
It.
Stupid.
Stupid.
Stupid.
Stupid.
I don't feel a certain emotion when I should.
I don't feel anything yet I feel everything.
If that makes sense.
Im paralyzingly numb.
My heart can't get broken because I feel like I don't have one.
There are so many walls around it that I don't hardly feel it beat.
It's sad.
I have trust issues with myself.
I don't trust myself.
I have so many walls I can't even get through them.
I can't take my guard down for no one.
Not even myself.
