Things are changing.
We are going somewhat of our separate ways.
It's different.
I don't like it.
We don't talk much.
We don't see each other much.
We don't really get to do anything hardly.
I miss it.
All the times we would spend all day just enjoying each other's company and scrolling through Netflix arguing on what to watch.
It breaks my heart.
I feel alone.
So alone.
I don't feel like myself.
I don't feel like anything honestly.
I'm floating.
I feel weightless.
I feel like I don't have the power to do anything.
I don't have the energy.
I feel useless.
I feel like I'm just stuck on the side line.
Like I'm just watching everyone be happy and enjoy life.
And I'm just sitting over here falling apart.
I'm tired.
Tired of fighting.
Tired of struggling.
Tired of crying.
Tired of being and feeling like this.
You don't need me anymore.
At least I feel like you don't.
I don't feel like anyone needs me.
I feel like if I was to die today no one would miss me.
No one would notice that I'm gone.
I'm in a really really dark spot.
I haven't been in a spot this dark in a very very long time.
But I'm hiding it from everyone.
Every single person in my life just doesn't know how bad I'm hurting right now.
And it's breaking me down into pieces.
But I can't explain how I feel because I told them I would try to get better.
That I would do better.
That I would quit my old habits.
That I would change.
But I tried and I'm back to square one.
Things just aren't looking up for me.
Should I say it?
Should I say what I promised everyone I wouldn't say?
My goodbyes.
