Hermitcraft Oneshots

Incorrect quotes 2

Grian: Hewwo! I will be youw suwgeon today! Intewnal bweeding you say? Let's make ouw fiwst wittle incision.

Mumbo: Dowctor, wewre loswing him!!! (・ ́з'・)

Grian: I'll wuse the defibwiwatow!!

Iskall, laying on the couch with a cold: Please. Turn off my frickin life support.

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Evil Xisuma: I was never happy, I was just slightly less pissed off.

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Cleo: So, do you have a crush on anyone?

Mumbo: Cleo, the only crush I have is my crushing anxiety.

Mumbo: and Grian.

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Stress: I'm having a problem with this person.

Iskall: Then kill them.

Stress: no.

Iskall: I'll kill them for you!

Stress: NO!

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Grian: Mumbo sleeps after us and wakes up before us. Does he even sleep?

Iskall: I think he periodically makes a whirring noise and then just shuts down.

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Doc, standing on the bed, with sheets wrapped around him like an ancient god: I am god.

Doc: I will tell you all you want to know.

Ren: Tell me how much you love me.

Doc: A... whole... lot.

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Kidnapper: We have your son.

Joe, confused: But, I don't have a son???

Kidnapper: Then who just asked for warm milk and cookies?

Joe: Oh my god! You habe one of the hermits

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Stress: There's plenty of fish in the sea. But you know what else there is? Trash. There is alot of trash in the sea.

False: Not sure if you're trying to raise awareness about pollution or if Iskall stole your cookies again.

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Mumbo: It's just a moo point.

Grian: A moo point?

Mumbo: Yeah, it's like a cow's oppinion, it just doesn't matter. It's moo.

Grian, to Iskall: Have I been friends with him for to long, or did all that just make sense?

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Evil X: It's so nice to be wanted.

Xisuma: You're wanted dead or alive...

Evil X: Still...

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Ren: I don't think you should drink this much coffee...

Doc: Coffee cures depression

Ren: I don't think it works like th-

Doc: MORE ESSPRESSO LESS DEPRESSO

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Doc: Okay, welcome to the 'Fuck Grian' Club, where we say Fuck you to Grian-

Mumbo, standing up: There may have been a misunderstanding here-

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Impulse: Did you kill thay guy?