UNA KONG NA-MEET si Brandon sa birthday party nang isa sa mga pinsan ni Gian. Sa simula pa lang, halata nang gusto niya ako. Mula kasi nang makilala niya ako, lagi na siyang present sa anumang okasyon na naroon ako, tapos diretso agad sa tabi ko at hindi na ako nilalayuan the whole time. Gian was generally tolerant of him. In my book, that meant he was okay.
Handsome, smart and charming, nakuha nito ang loob ko. At phone number.
We started dating exclusively. Gwapo, matalino at isang gentleman, napaka-ideal nitong boyfriend and I figured it was about time to start. You know... iyong magkaroon ng love life? Bawal kasi akong ligawan noong nag-aaral pa ako.
Well, not actually bawal. May nagtangkang mangilan-ngilan. Pero papasok pa lang sa pinto ng bahay ay tinatanong na ng Rosamia kung anong oras uuwi, tapos mag-iingay ang Jess sa ibang parte ng bahay. Like, magluluto raw ito ng food for the guest, tapos kakatayin ang umaagak na manok sa kitchen sink.
Two years na akong graduate sa college. Mahiya naman sila, 'no?! Mabuti na lang, noong sinama ko si Brandon sa Puerto Galera para makilala ang aking pamilya, he charmed them easily. The rest was history.
But it was the end of the fairy tale.
Kung kailan kasi kami na, saka nagsimula iyong madalas na pagsasama rito ng mga magulang sa business trips sa ibang bansa. Madalas itong wala. Last month nga ay tatlong beses lang kaming nagkita!
I sometimes thought his being absent many times since we'd been together for about four months played a part in us not breaking up. Paano ko basta ibe-break ang taong hindi ko lagi mahagilap, aber? Honestly, I'd started to feel like I don't have a boyfriend anyway. Para kasing hindi na convincing ang mga dahilan niyang sobrang perfect. At paulit-ulit.
"You really like that dress?" istorbong tanong ni Gian, pero sa marahang tinig.
"I didn't wear this because I'm looking to hook up. I just like it," napataray kong sagot.
"It doesn't matter. Your dress clings to you like a plastic wrap," ganti naman niya.
"When we get there, bibilangin ko sa 'yo ang mas clingy pa ang mga suot kaysa rito."
"They're not you."
I know exactly what he meant, but I chose to misunderstand. "Bakit? Hindi ba bagay?"
"It's too revealing."
"It's called sexy. And I want to wear it."
"Sex—"
Pinandilatan ko siya ng mga mata.
"Not that you weren't, Elise. More like..."
Naningkit naman ang mga mata ko. Wala siyang kawala.
Naging brisk ang tono niya. "You're not just anybody, Elise. Don't forget, guardian mo ako."
"Unfortunately, hindi kasama sa kailangan mong bantayan ay ang pananamit ko. Kung may reklamo ka, go to your mother!"
Nagkatitigan kami.
Muntik na akong mapangiti sa tagumpay noong nagbaba siya ng tingin, kandatigas ang bagang.
"Magpapalit pa ba ako? Anong sasabihin mo sa Mommy mo pagdating natin d'on at nakita niyang iba ang suot ko? Kapag tinanong niya ako, I will not lie."
"I'm gonna be busy the whole night fending off admirers off of you," may inis sa tinig niyang sabi.
Napakurap ako. Shit. Binola pa ako! "Then don't. Tutal, makita lang nilang nasa tabi mo ako, hindi na sila lalapit." May klase ng titig si Gian, effective na repellant sa mga ayaw niyang lumapit sa alaga niya. Alam naming lahat ng kanyang mga pinsang babae iyon. Promise!
"Don't do that."
"Do what?" singhal ko. I had sworn I would never let him spoil me, and only spoiled brats acted bitchy-like when they couldn't get what they want. But this is different. Nakasalalay ang identity ko rito! He couldn't just dictate choices that should be mine to make.
"I know your stepfather does not approve of that dress. Add your German relatives who expect me to protect you at all cost—"
"I know all that," sambit ko. Gagawin niya lahat para sa relasyon ng aming mga pamilya – I knew that. But I felt suddenly disappointed kaya nagbaba ako ulit ng tingin.
Paano naman ako?
Nagdaan ang ilang sandali ng katahimikan.
"You are not stepping away from my side during the party, you understand?" abrupt niyang sabi. "Hindi ko alam kung anong nangyayari sa inyo ni Brandon, pero may boyfriend ka pa."
"Kahit sino pang Pontio Pilato ang maging boyfriend ko, mas takot silang lahat sa 'yo," ngulngol ko, pero relieved ako. I really didn't like quarrelling with him at all. Promise. Nagsisikip ang dibdib ko kapag alam kong may hindi siya gusto sa suot ko o ginagawa ko. Para akong magkaka-mini heart attack. Totoo!
"You can party with the other girls, but not too far that I can't see you."
He was talking about his cousins. "Na-delay ang flight nila from New York due to bad weather. They wouldn't be able to make it."
"Wala na bang i—"
"Ang Mommy mo," sabad ko sa matamis na tinig.
Bumuka ang bibig niya, pero ang lumabas lang: "Huwag ka aalis sa tabi ko."
Tumango ako, medyo naaawa na sa kanya. He's trying. Naka-ilang Tango at Twist na ang eyebrows, o. He's really trying.
"Not that I don't want you to have a good time—"
Napapadyak na ang isa kong stiletto-ed foot. Pumayag na nga pero dragging pa! "I know! Male-late na tayo. Let's go." My gahd!
Tiim-bagang siyang pumihit patungo sa mga elevators dala ang bag ko. Binelatan ko naman ang likod niya bago ko kinuha ang aking purse sa ibabaw ng desk at mabilis sumunod.
It was later when I got back to this conversation that I realized I let something pass.
Iyong "—may boyfriend ka pa."
Pa.
Even Gian knew my relationship with Brandon was about to end.
BINABASA MO ANG
Secret Sins & White Lies: Book One of the Sweet Rage Series
Bí ẩn / Giật gânGIANCARLO VERRAZZANO lives a life forged out of the sins of his past. There was no going back. Or so he thought... Young Elise of the Von Schillers family was sent to Gian so he could mentor her without divulging her real identity. A professed cyni...
