ANOTHER LIFE || Banana Fish: Alternative Ending ||

~Banana 57~

I learned that a small but important part in the last part of Banana 55 was accidentally cut out. I added it back so you can take a look. It's important so you can understand Ace's POV.

--

Ace's POV

When our promise was made, I felt genuine happiness for the first time in my life. I felt like I finally had somebody to lean on in this life of solidarity I thought I was doomed to tread by myself alone. I felt... salvation. I wanted to let go of my deepest grudges but it seemed that they had already rooted themselves deep in my heart and there is no way of escape. I had to face it. I had to kill that man myself to free myself.

That promise... was my refuge. Little did I know how much it'll plunge me even deeper to the pits of hell I was already drowning in.

The moment he looked at me with eyes void of emotion, I felt hollow deep inside. And when he pulled the trigger, I came into terms that everything I believed in was all an illusion. I wished to die in that despicable place but someone found me before I run out of blood. To them, I was saved but I treated it as another round of torture. I was briefed of what really happened. Ash fled. He ran away, leaving me behind to rot in this damn cage. He betrayed me! I trusted him but he didn't do the same. Everything he said were nothing but pure despicable lies!

"You're free to go."

Those words came at me like powerful punches only I didn't feel anything good. I wasn't glad nor relieved. I felt nothing but overwhelming rage inside me growing stronger. I hated myself for it but it became my new purpose. It became my new shackles. It kept my alive all this time.

It took time to stop the bleeding of my wounds. Lonely days and sleepless nights that slowly turned into years were my everyday endeavor. The bleeding had stopped but the scar never disappeared.

I toyed with every gang in this city, hoping that I'd see traces of him. Based on what he did to me, I knew what kind of life he would lead. I knew he'd be heartless, going around killing people who goes against him without mercy. And then for the first time since we parted, I found him and proved myself right. I approached him with a mask on, determined to stay hidden until the very moment I take his life away. But unfortunately, I wasn't able to do anything while he was able to leave me a scar. He always found ways to escape my radar before I could harm him. For quite a while, he didn't show himself, not even a shadow. I was angered by it so once again I gave troubles to the gangs, escpecially to the Chinese, doing nothing but hoping he'd walk straight into my trap.

Nothing.

Until a year passed.

On my least unexpected timing, he showed himself right before me. Our eyes met. I panicked. For a short moment, I thought I saw his eyes move as if he realized who I am but he just walk past by me as if I was a stranger. My turmoil grew larger that I couldn't take it anymore. I have to do something.

I followed Ash around, observing him for a while. I found out he had amnesia and nothing else more than that. No wonder his back appears so vulnerable. I couldn't have been more glad for this golden oppurtunity. He has forgotten about me? Making him remember the worst possible way is a piece of cake. I just have to approach him while being careful not to earn his suspicions and everything will sail smoothly.

Eiji, a boy who innocently walked into my trap instead, entered the picture. Somehow, the moment we met, I regretted getting him involved in our mess. I didn't understand myself. I didn't understand why Ash couldn't push him away. He was just plain ordinary. There was nothing special about him. But out of curiousity, I went with the flow. As I spent time with Eiji, I understood why I felt that way, why I felt like he is someone I shouldn't hurt. He has his ways of annoying me by being too kind but I guess that was how he found a soft spot on me. For a while, even just for a little while... I experienced what it's like to live normally. To feel the relief brought by laughing, to feel to care and be cared for. I wished I could continue living in that pretend-world.

But..

I was sure I couldn't keep this up for long. Sooner or later, Ash will find out. And he did. The trap that I had set up for him when we took our vacation backfired at me. I knew Ash was testing me. I knew that if I took the bullet for him, Ash would find out the truth. I decided it was the right time to lay open everything. I didn't want to drag this any longer because it would hurt Eiji even more.

I took Eiji away from that monster. Whether he gained back his memories or not, I knew he was just using Eiji for his own healing. Sooner or later, he'd abandon him. I had to make Eiji return to Japan no matter what. It's the least I can do to protect him.

But the person I thought who was a real friend this time, turned out to be another fraud. I gave him three chances but he is still willing to stay by Ash's side. I can't have that. My enemy's friend is my enemy and I'm willing to do what it takes to bring them down. I didn't strive to continue living all these years just to falter on the last step.

No one can save me because no one is on my side. I was destined to be born alone, live alone and die alone.

Once again, the vines of thorns that had guarded my heart crawl back in. I am now going to cast out the emotions I knew I shouldn't have let taken control over me from the start. Never again am I going to open my heart to anyone. Never again.

**

"We were just warming-up, weren't we?"

I etch a smile the moment I hear his words. Enthralled by his earnest eyes, I set out the rules.

"Let's keep this simple. We each has three chances to shoot each other. Whoever hits the other at a fatal spot..." I trail off as I load my gun with the number of bullets the rules would allow. "--wins." I finish. I see something flicker behind those envy green orbs. Worry, guilt, sorrow... Whatever they are, I'm glad he's feeling them. That way, he's an inch closer to understanding what I feel. Though he has still a mile way to go. And at this pace, he'll never be able reach the end line in this lifetime.

I turn to Eiji and his pleading eyes quickly meet with mine. His quivering lips try to spill out the words but ultimately fail.

I flick back my attention to Ash who is now back to his old self I knew years ago. "You should be able to hit me with your first shot. You're better with this than me."

Two consecutive shots are released. Eiji takes his eyes off from us. He couldn't watch us kill each other. My lips tug down to a disapproving smile. I successfully dodged Ash's bullet and I grazed his cheek. Instead of feeling satisfied, anger bubbled up inside me.

He purposely didn't evade it, did he? There's no way I could hit him at this distance. And the way he shot... is he taking pity on me? Is he looking down on me?

I laugh, like a hysteric person. "Why are you suddenly playing the good boy, Ash? WHY?!" I pull the trigger once again and I hear Eiji's crying scream. He rushes to Ash's side though is not able to do anything. Ash pulls the trembling boy in his uninjured arm as blood bleeds through his other sleeve where the bullet penetrated.

This isn't what I wanted. I wanted more. I wanted to see despair and not that calm look on his face!

"This is your last chance, Ash! If you don't get serious I'll---"

"Stop it!"

I admit, I was taken aback. I didn't expect for Eiji to finally point a gun at me. I guess it's taking him everything to maintain his hold like that.

"Shoot me." I tell him and horror takes over his face. Obviously, he couldn't do it. But he has to or they're both dead.

"I thought you said Ash had to kill to survive... because he didn't have a choice. You're in the same position now. So do it while I'm letting you." I take steps forward one at a time. The nearer I get close to the pair, the stronger I felt Eiji's pain.

"I gave you a hint that one day you'd face me as your enemy that's why I taught you how to shoot. So pull the goddamn trigger, Eiji!"

I felt a force tug me back and it was followed by a painful sting. I fwip back and it is now Ash who is holding the weapon. His heavy gruffs and wheezing breaths were indication that his action was on impulse.

"We're finally getting started." I mumble.