Fifty One Days

Chapter 12 'Is he serious!'

Chapter 12 guys! I hope you’re all enjoying it and don't hate Milo too much. Still a long way to go! Double update just because I was so motivated! Thank you for reading and keep voting guys ❤📖

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!!! I stare at him for the longest time. He doesn’t move. I don’t move. I cant believe I’ve actually just heard that. I cant believe hes actually just said. A girlfriend! 'I’ve got a girlfriend' Just like that. Just like he was saying ‘I got a dog, or a new car’ Got a girlfriend. Then the anger hits!

“Are you actually fucking kidding me Milo? A girlfriend? A girl fucking friend! Why? What? What the fuck!!!”

He gets off the bed, takes off the condom, he still has the fucking condom on, that hes just used to have sex with me. The condom that he had in his wallet because he probably has loads of sex with his GIRLFRIEND! He pulls on his trousers and reaches for my hand. I Jump back from his touch as if his hand is as live wire.

“Don’t you fucking touch me, you absolute arsehole!”

“Ali stop, just let me explain”

“Do you have a girlfriend?”

“Yes but...”

“Nothing to explain then, get out”

“Ali please. I’m not happy, I....”

“Do you have a girlfriend?”

“Ali yes I just said but....”

“Get the fuck out of my room...actually get the fuck out of my house”

He doesn’t say anything else, gathers the rest of his clothes and exits the room. My heart is aching. The tears start rolling down my cheeks. I knew it! I bloody knew it! I hardly knew him. I threw myself at him.

No Ali, he has the girlfriend. He just wanted sex from someone who was obviously too gullible to see it. This isn’t my fault, it’s all his fault. His poor girlfriend. He did say he wasn’t happy...no Ali, it’s still a girlfriend. I feel disgusted with myself. I know I didn’t know about her but I feel awful.

I wipe my tears away and pull myself off the bed. I go into my bathroom and turn on the shower, I turn back to my room, I want all evidence that he was here, gone! In a rage I pull the duvet and pillow covers off, I tear the sheet off and throw the whole lot of the floor, I bundle it all up and take it downstairs. I shove it all into a black bin bag and throw it out the front door. I am the most extra person, I swear but I dont know how to act in these situations.

I head back upstairs, peel all my clothes off and jump in the shower. I scrub and scrub at my skin till its red raw. I’m too numb to cry. This is stupid, I hardly knew him. We weren’t in a relationship. We never have been, I just thought...well I don’t know what I thought. I turn the water off, it was much too hot. I wrap myself in a big white towel and head back into my room. I lay down under the unmade quilt. My head is pounding. I feel luke I'm going to pass out from the heat of the shower.

I wake up with a start...I didn’t even realise I’d fallen asleep. I’m still in my towel. I’m too warm. I hate sleeping in an unmade bed. Light is seeping through the window. Memories from the night before flood back to me. Fuck! I fumble round for my phone. Damn it, its probably downstairs where I dropped it when he...well when I came in. I pull on a jumper and leggings and head towards the stairs. The clock in the hall tells me its 6.35am. I stop outside his room, the door is fully open and he’s sleeping soundly on the mattress. Fuck, why hasn’t he left. I really hope he's not going to try talk to me today because he will get a punch in the face!

I go downstairs, grab my purse off the side table. I find the kitchen and living room empty. Thank god. I make myself a cup of tea and sit quietly at the breakfast bar.

I pull my phone out of my bag. I have an text from Lewis, thanking me from coming to the wedding. I have a text off Steph, asking where I am, then another one later on in the evening saying she's going back to Adam’s. One off Graham saying he's actually met someone at the wedding and he wasn’t coming back.

Another off Dan, he's staying at Jenna’s and Luke is staying at Sarah’s parents.

Great so its literally just me and Milo in the house. In a way I'm glad because I don't want to face them all with this yet but it would have been nice to have some back up!

I hear him coming down the stairs, he comes into the kitchen. He can barely look at me at me, I stare the bastard out, I’m not letting him think hes upset me, even though he knows for sure he has.

He just stands in front of me leaning against the counter. Okay I can handle this one of two ways! One, I can scream and yell in his face and force him to leave or I can be an adult and deal with this. I chose the latter.

“There’s tea in the pot if you want some?” I motion over to the tea pot on the side, I made not 2 minutes ago. He follows my gesture, he hesitates but eventually grabs a mug and fills it with the tea. He pours some milk in and 2 sugars, he brings it to his lips.

“Huh”

“What?” He looks nervous. Maybe a little scared. I think he's waiting for me to explode.

“We take our tea the same way"

“Oh right...I really shouldn’t drink it, I should only have decaf really but...urm...well ...thanks"

“It is decaf. I can't drink caffeine”

“Oh okay. That’s good. Me too" We sip our tea at the same time.

We stay in this icy silence for what feels like forever. Hes so nervous. It's quite funny actually. He doesnt understand why I'm being so calm.

“Ali? Do you want to talk about this? I think we should"

“No, I don’t think we need too. It’s fine Milo, it really is. You have a girlfriend, that your business. You’re the one cheating, not me. You wont cheat again, well not with me at least anyways”

“Its not how it is Ali. I’m not happy, we’ve pretty much broken up. She doesn’t  really mean anything to me but you, you’re...” I put my hand up to stop him.

“That’s charming. Doesn’t mean anything to you. Why be in a relationship then?” I keep my voice low and calm. He will not get me mad again!

“She doesn’t. Its complicated. I cant explain right now. You just have to trust me”

“No Milo do you hear yourself? I don’t think i will actually. I’m going upstairs now, and I plan to leave the house at 8 and I really would like you gone by then. You did say you was going back today seemed like you was in a rush to get back so I wont stop you” I rise from my seat and set my cup down “Safe trip back Milo, I would say don’t be a stranger but actually its probably best you are” I walk out the kitchen. I half want him to follow me but I’m glad when he doesn’t.

I head back upstairs, change into my workout clothes. I try find headphones, as I’m on the floor searching under the bed the front door slams shut, i jump up and peak out of my window and see Milo climbing into a red Audi and drives off the drive.

And with that Milo was gone from life. Probably forever. I didn’t know how I felt. I felt relief that he had actually left so I didn’t have to talk to him or argue with him anyone but also so deflated knowing I’ll never see him again and weirdly that he didnt fight for me...why would he! He has a girlfriend!!! I decide I cant be bothered to go for a run, I was just going to go as an excuse to leave the house. I sit back down on the bed and sigh...okay so what now?

I fall back on the bed and fall straight back asleep.

And again days go by, just as life goes on and soon enough the days turn into weeks and the weeks into months and before I know it again, it’s been a year since he left.

A year since i made him leave and what happened next was something I never expected...I fell in love.