Fifty One Days

Chapter 26 'The decision'

Chapter 26

I pull back into the drive, get out the car. I pause at the front door before taking a deep breath before I go back In to the house. Why am I even going back in. I should just be kicking him out. It's all such a mess.

When I step I to the living room, Paul and Ryan are no where to be seen. Milo is sat on the settee, he looks really depressed. I think he's been crying. His eyes look bloodshot and red. I want to hug him, even after he's just said to me. I stand by the living room door, I feel uncomfortable...this isn't right. I shouldn't feel awkward in my own home. I look down at my shoes...I wish I'd put boots on now, my feet are freezing,

"Ali" I snap my head up to look at him. Okay I can go one of two ways about this. I can go all guns blazing and literally kick him out right now and deal with the tenancy shit later or I can bury all my feelings and go kick ass Ali Oliver business mode....I don't think I can handle anymore. My heart can't handle anymore. Business mode it is.

"Be quiet for a minute" I grab the pen and note pad from my work bag. "Come with me". I walk into the kitchen and sit down at the breakfast bar.

"Ali I..." He says as he enters the kitchen behind me.

"Don't. Sit down." He does. I take another deep breath. I feel like I've taken a million deep breaths today. "Now, you need to tell me everything Milo and I mean everything or I can't help you. I don't want to discuss what happened with earlier or anything to do with us. Tell me exactly what is happening with the court case"

He sighs and then he does. He tells me everything. He tells me from the very start, why he decided to come here and why he had to go back, he tells me when Loweri was born. He tells me how unwell his girlfriend had been after she had given birth to her. He tells me how she left Loweri in the are of her mother and left day in day out to go get drunk.

He tells me how now his ex girlfriends mother wont let him see the baby. He tells me how he needs a permanent residence to be able to bring her to live with him. He tells me how he was planning on moving out as soon as she arrived and it was all sorted and he tells me how he never meant to hurt me, how his solicitor advised him to not have any dirt they could use against him in court. How he never meant to say all those horrible things to me but he thought I would kick him out if he told me about all this.

"You know, if you'd have just told me literally all of this from this start then none of this would be happening. You weren't with me when Loweri was conceived. I love kids you know that. What the hell was you thinking Milo? You've made it so much worse for yourself. I would have supported you in this and of course helped you to get her back"

"I know. I guess I was just scared "

"Scared of what? I'm not that scary."

"Not of you. I was scared that if I told you, you would kick me out and then I wouldn't have a secure place for Loweri. When Emily started drinking in the day and I would get calls from the neighbours, while i was in work, that she had Loweri in the house on her own. She was a baby for fucks sake Ali. I'm terrified because she means the world to me. I didn't tell you because I was scared of rocking the boat and I wouldn't be able to live here and I wouldn't be able to get my daughter back. Jayne, advised me that Emily's mother has hired the best solicitor. She wants me out of Loweri's life. She blames me for Emily having a breakdown and becoming an alcoholic. I don't know what I did....I can put this right Ali, if you dont want me here I'll find another place to live and hopefully they will still let me have her" He puts his head in his hands and starts sobbing. "I'm so sorry Ali, I didn't mean anything I said to you earlier...I'm so sorry. I just felt like I had to lie to you because if I let myself get involved with you, I was so scared it would fuck things up with me getting Loweri back. I'm so sorry I know that's a shit excuse. It really is. I said the worse thing I could think of. You're not pathetic. You're the most amazing person I've ever met"