Fifty One Days

Chapter 49 'Take me back to London'

Chapter 49. I know. I know. It's been ages again since I uploaded. I've been so busy with work and I'm so tired. Writing inspo and being exhausted doesn't go well together. Anyway I'm currently doing chapter 50 too so it will be up tonight. Thank you for being patient with me. Hope you are all well and safe and as always thank you for reading and don't forget to vote. ❤📖

As I sit in the warm, very rare Pembrokeshire sun, I can't help but feel like running away. Where should I go? I could just start a new office somewhere else to call home. Paris? Ireland? Germany? Who knows. Who cares at this point.

The last three weeks have been awful, I stayed at one of my smaller empty flats I own to avoid Milo and I’ve been dodging Jay’s calls for days. They eventually stopped.

Every time I allow myself to think, even just for a millisecond. That night comes flooding back to me. This isn’t Milo’s fault. It isn’t Jay’s fault. It’s mine. I feel sick constantly, I know I want to run away but I know I can’t. I want to run and stay as far away from here as possible. But I know I have to stay and deal with this. I may have been an asshole but Milo has been 10 times worse.

I’ve been sitting on the beach for two hours, the sun hitting my face feels amazing, my phone going off breaks the much needed silence.

I sigh before digging it out of my handbag. Jay’s name flashes across the screen. I know I have to speak to him eventually.

“Hello".

“Hey Ali. Thank God. Do you ever answer your phone?”.

“Sorry I’ve been busy..I".

“Yeah I know what you’ve been doing Milo told me". My heart sinks, I knew I would have to tell him at some point, I just didn’t think Milo would have beat me too it. What the fuck is wrong with him? Why does he hate me so much?

“Look Jay...”.

“No Ali, you listen for a minute. I have always been so nice to you, I’ve always done everything I could for you. I would still do anything for you. It absolutely killed me hearing that Ali but I told you to do what you needed to do and now you have and I need to know right now, I don’t care about him or what’s happened. Are you coming home to me?”. The pleading in his voice pulls at my heart. Its desperation and I can’t help but want to go to him but how can I after all this mess I’ve made.

“Jay I’m sorry...”.

“Ali please. Don’t throw away our amazing life together for someone who doesn’t even care about you please”. I know he’s right. Milo doesn’t care about me but it doesn’t make it right. I can’t just go running back to him. “Can you come see me?”.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea Jay. I don’t think this can be fixed”.

“Don’t say that Ali. I love you so much. Please just come here. We need to talk. We need to sort this out either way". I have to admit, I really want to see him, even if it’s just to say goodbye.

“Okay I’ll come".

“Today?”.

“Yes today. I can leave now. I’ll be with you about 8ish?”.

“Yeah okay. That works for me. Do you want me to do food or?”.

“Urm yeah I guess so. Only if you want too. You don’t have too. We can get a pizza or something?” Why is this so awkward? It’s never been awkward between us. Everything’s changed.