we're the troubled kids (arrow/flashxreader)

the voices

(yn) p.o.v.

i sat there, against the wall, crying silently.
hoping that the superheroes wouldn't
notice my sobs.
that's when the first voice came.
'it's your fault.' it said.
i put my hands on my ears and started shaking my head.
'no please no.' i mumbled.
then the second voice.
'if it wasn't for you , he would still be alive.' it speaks.
'please stop.' i say.

the third one,
'if you had just jumped after him he would still be alive.' i was now rocking back and forth with my hands on my ears.
then they all spoke together,
'it's your fault he is dead, you should be in his place.' that's when i really broke down.
'no stop please i tried!' i yelled no caring if the superheroes could hear my.
'it's you fault.' they said again.
'stop!' i yelled again and i was lying on the floor balling my eyes out.
'your fault!' they yelled louder.

'NO!' i yelled at the top of my lungs.
'YOUR FAULT!!!' they screamed.
'(YN) OPEN THE DOOR!!!' i heard Oliver yell, but i didn't move.
it was like i was stiking to the ground.
i was crying, but my tears weren't see through like normal tears, they were silver.
the voices spoke again,
'HE BLAIMES YOU, ONLY YOU!!!' they yelled.
'STO-O-OP!!!' i said between sobs.

that's when my door was kicked in in Oliver sees my lying on the floor all curled up with my hands over my ears and a silver fluid all over my cheeks.
he runs to my and hugs me.
'shh, shh it's okay, it's okay.' he says while he tries to comfort me.
but it doesn't do anything, i keep crying and crying and crying till i'm sure i'm dehydrated.
Oliver is stroking my hair and all the superheroes are standing in the doorway shocked.

'hey, hey, it's okay.' Oliver says.
'no i-i-it's not, it s-should've b-been m-me.' i say between sobs.
'(yn) what do you mean?' he asks.
'he d-died b-because o-of m-me, i-it's my f-fault.' i sobs louder.
he picks me up bridal style and puts me in a chair.
'go and get me some hot chocolate please.' he asked the superheroes and Thea and Cisco walk out my room.

i'm finally starting to calm down.
i'm still hyperventilating but i calmed down.
Thea walks in with a cup of hot coco and gives it to me.
'are you okay?' Oliver asks me.
i want to say yes but i know they won't believe me.
i shake my head no and try to calm down my breathing.
'they stopped months ago, i don't now why they came back.' a tear runs down my face.
'who?' Caitlyn asks.

'the voices.' i say.
they all look a bit disturbed but decide to brush it of.
'what do they say to you?' Barry asked.
't-that it's my fault he's dead, and that i should b-be in his place.' i say.
'who's dead (yn)?' Cisco asks.
i try to say the name but i start hyperventilating again.
'okay, enough questions for tonight' oliver says.

'drink up your hot chocolate and i'll put up your favorite movie, try to sleep a bit' he puts a hand on my shoulder
'you can tell us when you're ready.'
he walks to the tv and puts it on.
they are on their way out when i stop them
'wait' i say 'will you please stay with me, if they come back.' they all look at me and then nod.
they go and get some pillows and blankets.
we watch a few movies and i fall asleep on the couch.
weird they didn't ask about the silver tears.

helloooo everyone
i hope this chapter wasn't to disturbing.
as someone who has experienced a pannick attack a few times i say that it's not nicz to experience
if you have them, talk to someone
hope you like it
love you all❤️
miss geeky