Unthinkable

June***Part 1

Dear Jesse —

I did it. I finally did it. I got my driver's license today. I nailed that three-point turn!

I'm driving over to Penny's to pick her up.

We're going out to celebrate.

Xo

Sammy (with the license)

***

I'm so excited. I'm cruising all way to Penny's street by myself. Blasting "Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car" — I have a whole new-found appreciation for Billy Ocean as I drive across town. Alone. No one else in the car. Check me out!

Look at me go. Rocking out in the car, waiting for her to roll out. I made it here, but I'm not going up that driveway. That's like Driver's Ed 301. I'm not ready for that yet.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

I nearly jump through the roof. Jake is standing at the passenger window motioning for me to roll it down. Scared the shit out of me. I crank the window down. Halfway.

"Can we talk?" I turn the key in the ignition, this was not the time for an Alanis/Cranberries mash-up. I get out and walk to the back of the Explorer. We each take a seat on the bumper. I'm here. Time for him to do the talking.

"Sam, I'm really sorry about the other night."

That's a good start, keep going.

I cross my arms and settle in. I will wait for it. He's got to give me more. His behavior was unacceptable.

If he thinks I'm going to rehash this whole business again, he can turn right around and go home.

"Alright. Sam, I'm really sorry. It's just... well, I'd had a couple beers, and when I saw you talking to that guy, and smiling and laughing..."

"We were at a party, that's what people do at parties. They talk to each other."

"I know, it's just I was dedicating our song to you, and I just wanted to look out and see you looking back at me, and then you were talking to him," he pauses. "And I'm an idiot."

"Well, we agree on that." Unable to contain my annoyance.

"And then when I couldn't find you after the set... and Allison and Shannon told me you'd walked off with some guy right after our last song."

"Stop right there. Allison and Shannon told you?"

There it is. Same story, different day.

"After the set, you mean, when your incredibly sweet girlfriend, who heard that the keg was about to kick, went over to make sure you got one of the last beers, while you were pulling gear off the stage. Right, is that the same 'after the set' we're talking about? I just want to be clear."

His head is hanging down, those luxurious curls hiding his face. It's not going to save him tonight.

"Oh, and that guy I walked off with? Yeah, that was Oli Tate. He's the one that told me about the beer."

I'm waiting. Nothing to say, huh?

"You know, Jake, you always need me to tell you, and show you, and reassure you that I like you, I want you, I want to be with you. But you never hear me. The only people you seem to 'hear,' really 'hear,' are Allison and Shannon. Especially when it comes to my feelings and what I'm thinking. Which makes absolutely no sense. So I guess I'm the idiot." I'm the idiot for letting him play this song on repeat. "I'm falling for you — hard. Yet you constantly need more, and you want me risk everything and share my deepest secrets with you, but you don't trust me, you don't give it back."

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Penny creeping down the driveway, trying to gauge whether or not she should go back inside. I pop a thumbs-up in her direction.

I just got my license. We are going to drive around all night celebrating.

"We can't go on like this," I declare, trying my best to hide the tremble in my voice. "You are in a relationship with me, not them. You need to figure out how to trust me."

Silence.

"Oh and by the way... I passed my road test today. Got my license. Thanks for asking. Let's go, Penny."

We hop in the car and peel out.

***

Author's Note:   What do you think?  Did Sammy make the right call?  Should she have just accepted Jake's apology?