Unthinkable

July***Part 4

Dear Jesse —

USF was amazing. It was a really great school and the campus in the city was so cool. I'm not sure it's for me though. 60 degrees in the winter is one thing, but 60 degrees in the summer... I'm not sure I can handle being cold year-round.

We fly down to LA in the morning. I know I'm going to end up there, I just know it. We visit UCLA in the afternoon, before going back to the airport to go to Las Vegas.

Mom and Dad found some desert tours they are really excited about. And, on the last day, we'll tour UNLV before flying home.

We're off to Benihana for dinner tonight. We asked the concierge and it sounds like California's version of the Bisuteki. I'm super excited.

Home. Where I'm going to have to face Jake again. I really wish I'd had time to talk to Penny or Shiv before I left. I just keep replaying the tiramisu incident in my mind. I lose my breath just thinking about it. It scares me, but I don't think he'd ever hit me. He wouldn't. Would he? No, this doesn't happen to people like me. Now it's me that's overreacting. This doesn't happen with your first boyfriend. I'm just being too sensitive. Things just got a little out of hand. He needs to control himself. He's not a monster.

But, he's acting like one.

And, if he ever tries to force feed me again, he will live to regret it. I will feed him his balls on top of a platter of tiramisu. Seriously.

Just thinking about it. I can feel his arm holding me down. Cutting off my breath. His four fingers boring into my chin.

I don't know what I'm going to do when I get home.

Xo
Sammy

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Dear Jesse —

We're on the plane headed home now. And I've got big news. I'm going to UNLV. It was everything I ever imagined college would be. And, it's warm all year round. Best part is they'll let me double major in theater and advertising. (So far all the other schools will only let me minor in theater, if I want to be an advertising major.)

I always thought I would go to school in California, or maybe New York (as a backup, too close to home), but it looks like I'm moving to Nevada. Hello desert sun! Time to buy stock in zinc oxide!

Oh, and Dad and I shared a beer. Crazy. We were reading out by the pool, we'd finally got my Mom to join Patrick in the pool, and he just handed me his beer. I don't think he expected me to drink it. But when I did and I didn't just spit it back out, we kept passing it back-and-forth until it was kicked. He told me not to tell Mom, it would be our secret. Always full of surprises.

Still haven't figured out what I'm going to do about Jake. And I'm running out of time.

How did I end up here?

Xo
Sammy

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