An Unknown World

Bonds

Darkness had fallen around me in the forest. I had laid down in the thick grass and stared up at the trees. I don't know how long I had been laying there or what I wanted to do next, my thoughts weren't even bothering me, I felt numb. I knew what Asuma had said was out of anger and pain, I had no right to be upset with anyone who was now close to Rin. I made a mistake not going with them on the mission, but I couldn't dwell on that regret, all I could do now was be there for her like I should have been before.

I lifted myself from the ground and headed toward the hospital. Even if I wouldn't be let into her room I would wait outside, even if it meant waiting forever.

The only light on my walk back was the glow from the streetlights above me, there weren't all that many on the street leading from the forest, not many people were out this way at night so there was no need. The night air was cool and there was a slight breeze that blew a mixture of scents through the air. Families in the houses down the road were making dinner, restaurants further away were grilling and frying foods, and the scent of flowers and trees mixed.

I arrived at the hospital and looked at the clock as I walked through the door.

7:43

The woman who had been attending the desk had changed since I had been there. This girl looked as young as I was, so she had to be newly appointed to her job. I approached the desk as she was shuffling her papers around, she didn't even notice me until I spoke.

"Ma'am is Rin Nohara accepting visitors tonight?" I asked politely.

She looked up quickly almost jumping at the sound of my voice. "Um...Um...I'm sorry" She was shuffling through the mess of papers more quickly. "N...N..." She was repeating as she did. "Ah, yes! Nohara! She is in room 114 at the very end of the hall to the right." She pointed at the doors that I should walk through.

"Thank you very much miss." I said as I turned away. I saw a blush on her cheeks just before heading to the doors. I was told a few times by my friends that I was a lady's man, not that I ever acted on it or even noticed, but occasionally I would catch it and it would make me chuckle.

I saw the numbers getting higher as I walked down the hallway, getting nervous the closer I got to Rin's room.

110...111...112...113...

As the number 114 came to be directly in front of me, I froze up and just stood there staring at the door handle.

"You should go in". A voice came from behind me suddenly, causing me to jump. "She's actually asked about you quite a few times in her sleep." Minato-Sensei chuckled.

"What would I even say?". I let out a deep sigh, as if I had been holding my breath this whole time. I didn't have the slightest idea of what I would do when I saw her, what she would even look like...could I even handle this?

A hand rested on my shoulder, squeezing it ever so slightly. "Say whatever your heart tells you to say Kakashi. She's still asleep, she hasn't woken up yet, but it's still Rin." He said softly. "You just need to make amends, even after all this time apart, you both still share the same bond as before." He let go of my shoulder and walked back down the hall toward the exit.

I was alone again, but now I wasn't as unsure as before. I took a deep breath and slid the door to her hospital room open, immediately being hit by the nauseating feeling that I thought had left my body a moment ago. It was an almost completely white room with one window next to the single bed. There was a sitting area next to the door was I walked in, a stack of clothes sitting on one of the chairs had been washed and folded by the nursing staff. The clothes from her mission.

The room was only lit by dim lights by the door and the pale moonlight that was shining in the window over Rin's bed, and there she lay fast asleep. I walked over to her side and looked down at her, her face was paler that it had been last time I'd seen her. Her hair was flowing down each side of her face messily. The rise and fall of her chest was slow, but she was at least breathing, even if she did have oxygen tubes in her nose.

I reached out and laid the back of my hand on her cheek, she wasn't very warm at all. The last time I had touched her skin was when we had been laying on my futon all those years ago, it felt so different this time, but maybe it was just the circumstances. I lowered myself into the chair that was next to her bed and took her left hand in both of mine, holding it tightly.

"Rin...I'm so sorry that I didn't come with you." I said slowly. This felt silly, I was talking to someone who couldn't even hear me. It was like talking to myself out loud, but nobody was around to look at me like I was insane, so I continued.

"After all of this time, even after what you said before you left for this mission...I have to say it, and I would say it a million times over and over again no matter how much you don't want me too. I am so sorry for everything Rin." I felt tears building behind my eyes. "I should have been here for you through all of these years, even though you turned me away, I never even tried to fix things... I was selfish and so were you." The tears were now dripping down my cheeks. I tried to choke them back so that I could keep talking.

"I feel like we wasted so much time, you did so much with your own life, you were able to live it without me, but I didn't move on at all. I just pretended like nothing ever happened, like you and Obito never existed so that I could shut out the pain that I felt. I was wrong to do that and again, I am so sorry Rin."

There was so much more, I could talk for hours about everything that I could apologize for, but I didn't want to even overwhelm myself with those thoughts. She wouldn't want that; she wouldn't want all the pathetic sad Kakashi talk.

I silently cried just staring at her beautiful face, the face of someone who didn't deserve the cards that had been dealt to her. She had suffered so much in her life and I never made it any better.

I sighed before speaking again. "I want to always protect you, even if you don't want me too. I want to make good on my promise."

That was all I had left in me to say. I started sobbing, still holding her hand tightly. I didn't want to lose her when there was so much more life for her to live. She deserved so much more than this.

I sat there a little longer before I stopped crying, it had only been a couple of minutes, but it felt like hours. I took one hand away and wiped the tears from my face with my arm. I held her hand a moment longer before loosening my grip, but I was stopped when I felt her hand squeeze mine back so that I couldn't let go.

"I love you too, Kakashi." Rin said quietly, her eyes still closed. Just like the last time, but this time she was talking in her sleep, and although that was the case, I knew that she had heard every word. I squeezed her hand back and smiled. Nobody was going to let any visitors in this late and I'm almost positive that Minato-Sensei probably made some sort of comment to the receptionist about allowing me to stay, otherwise I would have been asked to leave by now.

I got up and scooted myself onto the very edge of the hospital bed, making sure not to let my body touch hers since I had no idea about the state of her injuries. I rested my head on the pillow and closed my eyes, laying half on my side and half on my back to keep myself from falling off from the edge and just as I was about to drift off to sleep, I felt Rin shift slightly and her head was nuzzled against my collar bone. She let out a deep sigh in her sleep and began to lightly snore. I couldn't bring myself to move so instead of sleeping I just laid there with my eyes closed enjoying the time I had before sunrise.

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