An Unknown World

Just Us

I woke up in a cold sweat, my vision blurry, and panicking about where I was. The dream that I had been trapped in felt too real and I wasn't sure if I was even awake or still stuck in the endless loop of horror. I felt around the space where I was laying and felt the slight cushioning below me and open air on my side, suddenly I remembered that I was sleeping in Rin's hospital room. Reality started flooding my mind as my eye adjusted to the darkness of the room. It had to still be early morning because there was not even the smallest bit of light coming through the window across the room.

Regaining my senses, I sat up and rubbed my eye with the back of my hand. The only thing that I could remember from my dream was the feeling of suffocating and inability to move my body, I know there was more, but I couldn't bring it back.

I stood up and walked over to Rin's bedside quietly so that I wouldn't wake her. Her beautiful brown hair was laying messily over the side of her face as she slept, curled up in a ball facing toward me. I wiped the strands away exposing her eye that was completely open and a smile across her face as she looked up at me. "Hi..." she said softly.

The smile on my face when she spoke was hidden by my mask, but I'm sure by now that she could read my expressions through even just one of my eyes. "Hey there, feeling any better?" I asked as I lowered myself to sit on the side of the hospital bed.

She rolled onto her back and looked up at the ceiling, putting her hands behind her head as if she was laying in a field looking at the stars. She was silent for a few moments and I waited patiently for her to speak. "You know Kakashi...I really don't remember anything past...Well..." she stopped with a confused look on her face. I can't imagine how hard it must be to try and rack through memories that either made no sense or didn't exist any longer. She looked at me and frowned. "I don't remember much past when I had turned you away after...well what I remember as our last mission." She sighed frustrated. "I know I have been training with Lady Tsunade...I remember bits and pieces of people, but it's just flickers of memory." She looked back at the ceiling once again. "I don't remember Asuma...at least nothing past when we were children."

She understood that their relationship was very real for him and the rest of us, but with her memory being gone, she couldn't bring herself to pretend that she had feelings for him at the moment, that's why two days ago she turned him away, she couldn't stand the pain that she was putting him through. Of course, Asuma hid those emotions the best that he could, but we all knew that it was eating away at him inside, so he decided it would be best to keep his distance for the time being.

I took Rin's left hand in both of mine, holding tightly to her trying to take away the trace amounts of pain that I could see on her face. "It's okay Rin, nobody blames you and even Asuma understands that there is nothing we can do but wait for you memories to return." I said.

She sighed again and shook her head. "IF I ever get them back...Lady Tsunade said..." I had cut her off, letting go of her hand and placing a finger against her lips. She smiled and let out a little giggle, rolling her eyes at me. "I can't help it Kakashi". She said as she let out a small breath with puckered lips, pretending to blow my finger away from her. "I worry about these things y'know?".

I laughed and moved my free hand back to hers. "Yeah, but even if you don't remember the past, you have new memories to make now, so don't dwell on it. Let whatever happen, happen." I intertwined my fingers with hers. "Plus, I promise that I will fill you in with as much information as I can, but I told you, we haven't really spoken much in the past few years." As I said that, her smile started to fade once again.

"I'm sorry for what I did to you Kakashi..." She squeezed my hand tightly as if she thought I would let go. "I know that I probably had my reasons, but I had no right to ignore your feelings. I didn't even try to hear your side of things, and it seems that I never did anything to fix that either. I don't know what I was thinking." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

I smiled again and shook my head. "None of that matters to me. I didn't do anything to fix things either...besides...when you're ready, I have something for you to read that might jog your memory."

Her eyes shot open and she quickly sat up. "What is it!?" she asked frantically. "If there is something that can help, I want it as soon as possible!"

I paused before answering. Did I want to give her the journal that she gave me? It had so much information that could help her, but what if she remembered...and didn't want me around anymore? I had been at the hospital for almost a week with her. The only time that I had left was when I had to shower, and when she had a special order for food because apparently hospital food wasn't her style.

"Kakashi?" She said snapping me out of my thoughts.

I had to tell her. "...I have a journal, pages upon pages of your life that you wrote down and gave to me on my fourteenth birthday."

Rin's eyes lit up, she was beginning to get all giddy and shaking with excitement. "I am SO SMART." She said. "I can't believe I did that, it's like I was anticipating this!" her excitement lasted a little longer before she stopped suddenly and looked into my eyes. "You're worried...aren't you?"

"A little bit, yeah." I couldn't lie about it. I needed her to know how I felt. For the first time in a long time, my feelings meant something to her and although that sounds selfish, I didn't want to lose her again.

She took my chin in her hand as she leaned forward to me, her eyes meeting mine. "I don't care what happened before, I already KNOW what happened with us." She smiled. "All that matters is what happens from here on out, remember?" She took my words and tossed them back at me.

I rolled my eyes, my face still in her control so I couldn't move from her gaze. Her eyes were shimmering in the ever so slight moonlight coming through the window. In what felt like less than a second, she had pulled down my mask and planted a hard kiss on my lips, holding my face against hers so that I couldn't pull away with the shock that she knew would be coming from me.

"...Kakashi..." A voice came from across the room breaking both of us from the trance that we had fallen into, quickly breaking our kiss. I turned and looked behind me. Asuma was standing in the doorway. A bundle of flowers hanging by his side and a look of pain covering his face.

I was stunned and couldn't find any words to say as I stared at him, horror across my face realizing what had just happened.

"Asuma...I..." Rin began saying but couldn't finish before he turned and walked out of the room. I turned back to her, still shaken by what just happened. She nodded at me. "Go talk to him..."

I sighed and lifted myself from the edge of the bed, looking back at her once more before walking out of the room to look for Asuma who was standing against the wall outside of the main hospital doors. He was looking at the ground and didn't even notice my presence at first.

I cleared my throat, leaning against the wall next to him. "Asuma...I didn't mean for that to happen...I swear I didn't initiate any of that." I sighed. "That doesn't excuse the situation, but I promise you that I want nothing more than for her to remember her feelings for YOU."

"It's fine." He finally said, keeping me from rambling any further. "It hurts, all of this hurt like hell Kakashi." Pushing himself from the wall he started walking away from me. "I can't change what is happening and I can't force her to love me like she once did. I just need to accept that and either wait or move on." He looked up at the sky. "Just let me know which one I should be doing, okay?" With that he was gone, disappearing around a corner into an alley.

I sighed and punched the wall of the building behind me with the side of my fist. I really need to stop messing with everybody's lives.

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Remember y'all, this story is absolutely considered AU. I also realized that I am one of those writers who enjoy causing their favorite characters pain. 😩

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Love y'all!
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