An Unknown World

I'm Afraid

I had woken up the next morning. My chakra was fully replenished from the short rest, and my hand bandaged nicely along with a few other places on my body. We were all taken back to Konoha and admitted to the hospital shortly after we had been found in the forest by our comrades at the outpost. Minato-Sensei and Rin hadn't woken up for about 3 days after I had, and Rin wasn't speaking to anyone. It hadn't made me uneasy at the time, but I wasn't shocked when she would deny my visitation requests either. She had to stay in the hospital for a week before she was released, and I had tried twice a day to see her.

Minato-Sensei wasn't so distant, he came with me almost every day to check on Rin and although he was turned away as well, he was able to see her when he would come with Lord Third. They had to collect Intel on what the ninja from the Mist had wanted or what they were planning, so I didn't know if that was the reason that she let him in, or if it was because I wasn't there.

I didn't see Rin for an entire 3 months after she was released, and I left her alone after Minato-Sensei said that she wasn't herself after she had woken up, that it was for the best to just let her work through her feelings alone. I could understand that, and I wanted to respect her wishes but after a while, it was getting to be too much for me, so I went to her house to find her. I never expected her to be the one to answer the door and the moment she saw me, she immediately started crying.

"Kakashi..." she was staring at me, tears making her eyes glisten in the sunlight. I always hated seeing her cry, it broke my heart.

"Rin, I..." but she interrupted me before I could finish.

"No". She said as she wiped the tears from her face with the back of her hand. "This is goodbye, I'm sorry". She began closing the door and I held my hand up between it and the door frame.

"What...? What do you mean Rin?" I stuttered. "I just wanted...I wanted to see how you were..."

Her eyes were still wet from the tears. Her face had suddenly gotten much more serious. "No...You don't understand...I don't want to see you." She was almost yelling. "Don't you get it Kakashi?! I'm TERRIFIED of you".

My face was flushed of all color, I felt like I was going to be sick. I looked at her, examining her face as I was trying to make sense of what she had just said. She can't be afraid of me...

My eyes drifted to the side of her head, her ear had healed over and was almost completely flat on the top, and I noticed the scar that trailed from the side of her head down her face. I hadn't expected to see her injuries still, I don't know why. There was no way that the damage I had done would have healed any other way.

She needed to be afraid of me, maybe it would save her life, I could have killed her on that mission simply because I couldn't control my anger.

"Please, just...go...I don't want to see you anymore..." I removed my hand from he door and let her close it.

My heart was broken, but I had done this to myself and I had to accept that. I turned away from her house and walked in the direction of home. I had gotten my answers. The thing is, I knew it was coming. In the back of my mind I had known something like this was going to happen, but I never imagined that she would be afraid of me.

I felt tears filling my eyes. I was supposed to protect her...I was supposed to be the one that would always be there to keep her safe, but I always seem to be the one that hurts her instead. She was better off without me in her life.

With that final thought, I decided that I would forget about her. The way that I had known her before no longer could exist, for her safety.

...

I had arrived home without even realizing how far I had walked having been trapped in my own thoughts. I walked in and went straight to my room; I didn't even bother taking off my clothes for the day. I threw myself down on my bed and kicked my shoes onto the floor, staring at my bedroom ceiling. I must shut my emotions down from here on out, I will only be hurting myself otherwise.

I felt myself drifting off to sleep.

I never could have imagined what all of this would cause in the coming years, how different my life would be changing and how drastically. Time has never been one to heal my wounds, and it wasn't going to start now.

I couldn't keep myself awake with these thought's any longer, I let myself slip into unconsciousness.

Once again, Obito and Rin taking over my dreams.

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