Our Universe

Twenty Nine

— hello! try listening to Ebe Dancel's Dapit Hapon while reading this chapter para intense hihi. thank you and you already reached the end of my story. i know most of you will say that it's bitin or what but i guess this is where their story will end. thank you for accepting my thoughts and for letting me share my story. i hope you enjoyed this because tbh i was crying while i wrote this one.

see you on my next story! happy reading xx

with love,
tin xx

Isang malakas na hangin ang dumampi sa akin habang dahan dahang sumasabay sa pagsayaw ang mga takas ng buhok ko. Napatingin ako sa kalmadong dagat na nasa harapan ko habang tahimik na pinagmamasdan ang paglubog ng araw.

"I think I like sunrise compared to sunsets."

Nabaling ang tingin ko kay James na may dalang pagkain sabay na naupo sa tabi ko. Napangiti nalang ako at tinaggap ang dala niya para sa akin.

"Bakit naman? Kita mo yan ang ganda kaya."

Saglit na katahimikan ang bumalot sa amin habang ang hampas lang ng alon ang tanging maririnig mo.

"Wala lang. Sunrise for me symbolizes new beginning. New hope. Unlike sunsets. It's kinda sad because it feels like saying goodbye."

Napatawa ako dahil sa sinabi ni James. Yun nga rin ang kadalasan na sinasabi nila. Mas maganda daw yung pagsikat ng araw kaysa sa paglubog.

"Pero para sa akin mas maganda pa rin ang sunset. Alam mo yun? Kahit na lumubog man siya o kahit na magpaalam, maganda pa rin naman tingnan."

"Just like my love for you."

Agad akong napatingin kay James dahil sa sinabi niya. Nakatitig lang ako sa kanya habang naghihintay ng kanyang ibig ipahiwatig.

"I don't have my full memories yet. There are still fragments of which I cannot remember and I'm afraid I'm not able to recover those memories. But just like the sunset, kahit na tuluyang mawala ang lahat, maganda pa rin ang kakalabasan because I was able to make new memories with you."

Hindi ako nakasagot dahil sa mga sinabi niya sa akin. May kung anong sakit sa puso ko ang aking naramdaman na hindi ko maintindihan.

Sa dapit-hapon ng pag-ibig natin
Hindi kita kayang iwan

Bigla ko nalang naalala yung paborito kong kinakanta habang nasa ospital pa nun si James pagkatapos niyang maaksidente. That time I was close on giving up already. Pakiramdam ko wala ng pag-asa na bumalik ang lahat sa dati pati ang mga alaala niya. Pero nung napakinggan ko yung kantang yun, I was being reminded why I loved James and why should I stay with him.

Dahil may ning-ning pa ang ating bituin
Kung may tulay ay tatawirin
Dahil umiikot pa ang mundo
Ang puso ko'y sa'yo

Habang patuloy na umiikot ang mundo at sumisikat at lumulubog ang araw, mamahalin ko si James kahit na hindi na bumalik ang mga alaala niya. Habang nabubuhay at humihinga ako sa kanya lang ang puso at ang pagmamahal ko.

"Mom? Mom wake up.."

I was taken aback when my son woke me up. Napaupo ako sa kama at napansin na kanina pa pala ako umiiyak habang natutulog.

"You're crying. Are you having a nightmare?" My son Andrew asked.

I held his cheek and smiled. Everytime I look at Andrew it only reminds me of him. My son got his features which sometimes make him miss more.

"No baby. Mommy was just dreaming."

"Of daddy?"

I smiled at him and gave him a small nod. It's been 8 years since he decided to leave us but I still miss him everyday. I'm still wishing that this one is just a long nightmare and that I need to wake up already but it's the opposite.

Because this is now the reality.

James left us because of severe head trauma and complications due to his gun shot. He loss too much blood and his body cannot cope anymore and so he died. That phase of my life was the darkest one because the father of the child that I was carrying that time, the husband and the love of my life already left us.

How can I continue my life when he was already taken from me?

Hindi naging madali para sa akin at sa pamilya ko ang nangyari. I was depressed and most of them wants to give up on me but I guess that love is greater than anything else in this world that no matter how much hardship or pain that life throws at you as long as you love that person you will always choose to stay with him or her and I guess that was the reason why I am still here right now. With my son.

"I'm sorry Mom if I cannot take away your pain. I hope you'll completely heal your wound already."

That moment I cannot contain it already and so I cried in front if Andrew. Manang mana talaga sa tatay kahit papaano. Naalala ko tuloy yung mga sinasabi sa akin ni James dati sa tuwing malungkot ako.

"You don't need to be sorry baby. Always remember Mommy loves you so much. More than anything else."

I hugged him tightly and closed my eyes. James, if you're seeing this right now this is our son. I hope you did have a great rest already.

Sa dapithapon ng pag-ibig namin ni James, may magandang nangyari naman kahit papaano at yun ay si Andrew. Na kaya siguro siya binigay sa akin para hindi ako malungkot at para maalala ko si James kahit na wala na siya sa piling ko.

We might not have the happy ending that we deserved atleast I have with me all of the memories of him, of us that I will surely cherish until my very last breath.

To James, I love you. I will always do. Rest well now. See you soon.