Lascivious: Terrence Calleja (COMPLETE)

Chapter Sixty Nine ()

MATAPOS magluto ay tinawag ko na sina Megan at Simon para bumaba na. Ako na rin mismo ang lumabas ng bahay para hanapin si Terrence. Nakita ko siya sa tabing dagat. Nakatayo lang siya doon habang naninigarilyo at nilalaro ang tubig sa paanan. He looks dashing. Para siyang nasa isang photoshoot. Hindi ko nakikita ang mukha niya dahil nakatalikod siya sa akin pero sobrang lakas pa rin ng tibok ng puso ko. Nagniningning siya sa ilalim ng malaking buwan.

Marahan akong naglakad palapit sa kanya. Mukhang malalim ang iniisip niya dahil di man lang niya ako napansin. Hindi naman siguro siya galit dahil sa mga sinabi ko kanina noh?

"Handa na ang dinner." pukaw ko dito.

Agad siyang napatingin sa gawi ko. Binaba niya ang hinihithit na sigarilyo. "Si Megan na dapat ang pinapunta mo rito." aniya.

Pinagmasdan kong mabuti ang gwapo niyang mukha. Kahit sobrang seryoso ng ekspresyon niya, ang gwapo niya pa rin. "I'm sorry about what I said earlier. I know I was harsh. I shouldn'f have said that."

Yumuko siya. "It's alright. Naiintindihan ko naman. Saka sa totoo lang, medyo gumaan ang loob ko ngayong narinig ko yung galit na kinikimkim mo. Ako dapat ang mag-sorry sayo dahil masyado akong manhid. I wasn't considerate about your feelings. Tama ka. Ako yung dahilan kung ba't di nag-work ang relasyon natin. I was an asshole. Wala akong ibang ginawa kundi saktan ka."

Huminga akong malalim. "Hindi na dapat natin binabalik ang nakaraan. I'm really sorry."

Sandali kaming natahimik na dalawa at nakatanaw lang sa nagniningning na tubig dagat. Matapos ang ilang taon, ngayon ko lang ulit nasilayan ang ganda ng lugar na toh. It might not be as good as the beaches in the philippines but I made a lot of memories with mom and Simon here. Looking at the water made me reminisce the past. But unlike before, I'm clearly seeing the happy memories not the bad ones.

That's right... I should do that. I should focus on the positive side of everything. Hahayaan kong pagbayaran ng nakaraan ang masamang alaalang dinulot nito sa akin but after that, I should learn to forgive and ask for forgiveness, and then, I should move on and focus on what's ahead. After all, yun lang naman ang mahalaga. Dapat ay manatili na lamang isang malaking aral ang nakaraan para sa mas magandang kinabukasan.

"Make mistakes, learn from them. And when life hurts you, because it will, remember the hurt. The hurt is good. It means you're out of that cave." I once heard that from one of my favorite series, Stranger Things, and somehow it got stucked in my head. It made me very emotional, you see. And I love the message.

The world always has its way to hurt us. Sometimes, it gets so painful it left us paralyze. It will scare you that you'd rather hide in a cave and stop things from changing. But like what Hopper said, you can't stop yourself from growing. Life is moving in a constant speed. You can't turn things back to how they were because that's not how things work. You can hide temporarily. That's okey. You're only human. You need assurance. You need to feel safe. But one day, you have to step out of that shade and enjoy the sunlight... Because that's what you deserve. Stop holding onto things that's hurting you. Find yourself a new reason to be happy... To feel alive again. What's life without a little adventure?

"We should go inside. Megan and Simon are waiting." wika ni Terrence pagkuway.

Tumango ako. "Pinapatawad mo na naman ako, diba?" may pagbibiro kong tanong.

He looked at me funnily. "There's nothing to forgive but since you're pushing it... Okey, I forgive you. Baka hindi ka makatulog ngayong gabi."

I chuckled. "Then I'll forgive you too."

Napakurap siya. "What do you mean you forgive me?"

I sighed. "We can be friends. I don't really have reasons to hate you. Nasaktan mo ako dati but I can see that you're really sorry about that. Mukhang napagbayaran mo na rin naman yun kaya wala ng dahilan para magkimkim ako ng sama ng loob. Basta ba wag mo na ako inisin ulit."