MCSM oneshots (Discontinued)

Longing for belonging

I can't breathe. I can't breathe! I let out a halfhearted choke as I felt the vines wrap tighter and tighter around my wrists, cutting off my circulation. Then, at once, it was like my chest exploded, restraining me from oxygen. There was a loud thud ringing in my ears, and at once, my eyes opened, I bolted upright. My bedsheets were tangled around my body, and I was lying on a heap on the floor since I fell out of my bed. How pathetic.

My lower lip started to quiver, and I ran my fingers through my matted hair, shivering. I used my bed to hoist myself up, my balance still rather questionable. Walking over to the window, I slammed it shut, and the frigid air from outside stopped coming in. I found myself staring out the window, looking at the hazy layer of fog that had settled at the horizon. The moon was peeking out of the clouds. Every day, every night. I remind myself; it's the same moon that Axel and Olivia are looking at.

The same moon Petra is looking at.

That is, if she's alive.

I instantly dismiss that thought, but it creeps up on my, spiraling it's way to the back of my mind, threatening to break me. I know what Petra would say. Hold your ground, Jesse. I'm not going to lie. I love it here in town. But what if my place is...out there? Just the thought of Petra being alone, especially after...in the cabin. Tears were silently treading down my face, dripping off of the bottom of my chin. I stared out the window, feeling my eyes glaze over as I got lost in my thoughts.

Jesse...I don't...want to...

Loose you.

You mean a lot to me, Jesse...I..

As much as I love Lukas...I wish I was with Petra sometimes. Never had I tried to make some type of negotiations, because I don't want to get pushy, forcing Lukas to come. That would be...selfish. My shoulders slumped as I sunk down onto the floor, curling up in a little ball under my desk. This is awful. Not knowing. I fidgeted with my fingers, raw from the emotions that had been haunting me.

I heard approaching footsteps, bracing myself for whatever it was. To my surprise, I saw the doorknob turn, the door quietly clicking open. I buried my head in between my knees, embarrassed. "Hey...everything alright here?" He quietly closed the door.

"Mm, I've been worse." I muttered into my knees, my voice stuffy and muffled. He crouched down next to me. "Wanna talk about it?" He forced me to look at him, brushing a loose strand of hair out of my face. "Not really." I mumbled, feeling his hand wrap around my scarred ones, leading me to my bed. He stared at me in anticipation. I sighed as I gave in. "It's just...Petra. Everything about it. What if I made the wrong decision? What if she's hurt? What if she's dead? What if she needs me? Needs us? What if-" My voice was cut off by Lukas pressing his slightly chapped lips against mine, wrapping his arms around me. I felt blush creeping up on my face as he leaned forward, and I laid down.

Finally, I pulled away for a breath. He gave me a shy smile. "I just..needed to do that." He said, with a sheepish grin. He laid down next to me, wrapping one of his arms around me. I rested my head on the nook of his chest, and he gave me a gentle peck on my forehead before resting his head on the pillow. I wrapped myself protectively around him, a sense of warmth and security as I dozed off, in the safety of Lukas's arms.

When I woke up, Lukas was still there. I guess he moved a bit while he slept, because one of his arms was around my chest, the other in the crease of the bed. I carefully sat up, and a smile spread across my face. He was so beautiful when he was sleeping. He could be the boy I met when we were mere teenagers, both scared but determined.

The sunlight fell in an unbroken stream onto the bed, warming my face. In the golden sunlight I saw every feature of his face, soft and beautiful, so precise like it had been meticulously sculpted by a professional; the rays of sunshine reflecting off of his blonde hair. There was something else, so pure about him, something you can't find in anyone else. I saw his eyelids flutter open, and his gaze settled on me as he gave me a hazy smile, one I returned. "What's on your mind?" He asked, sitting up a little. "How lucky I am to have you." I said, and he ruffled my hair. "I was thinking the same thing." He said. A small childish giggle emerged from me as I asked a foolish question, destroying the moment.

"How about breakfast?"

He chuckled as he got up, using one of my combs to comb his hair. "Sure." After a nice breakfast, I decided to go outside, using the fact that I was "Checking the mail" as an excuse to watch the sunrise, layers of gold and orange and pink were painted onto the sky as the sun arose from its sleep. I opened up the mailbox, finding one lonely letter. I lingered back over to our house, taking my time as I finally went inside. Ripping open the letter, I frowned. Just advertisements. Sighing, my mind wandered back to Petra. How I hoped she was okay.

"Come, sit." Lukas gave me a warm smile. A smile that said everything was going to be fine. And if it wasn't fine in the end, then it wasn't the end.